We still think you’re a Tory, mate

Barmy prospective Lib Dem MP, Terry Lansbury, will campaign to rename Churchill College if he is elected on the grounds that the big W.C was a Conservative Prime Minister.

In an embarrassing attempt to distance himself from his Tory coalition partners, Lansbury, a former student at Emma, defended his wacky plan to activists yesterday. He claimed that such a politicised name has no place in the University system and might put students from less privileged backgrounds off applying.

“We might as well just call it ‘Thatcher College’ and be done with it”, he told the bemused party faithful.

A picture of oppression?

A picture of oppression?

When questioned about Churchill’s record in the Second World War (in which he was, apparently, a pretty big deal), Lansbury disparaged the ex-Prime Minister’s accomplishments.

“There were many crucial players in the War Effort – we focus on Churchill far too much. We could just as easily name it after Clement Attlee.”

“Or even”, he quipped “Nick Clegg”. Nobody is reported to have laughed.

He continued: “besides, why do we want to celebrate someone involved in a war that killed millions of people? I for one would rather celebrate this government’s excellent record on tax credits.”

“Doesn’t the University want to shake its reactionary image?” he asked.

LEAVE OUR UNIVERSITY ALONE

LEAVE OUR UNIVERSITY ALONE

The college, founded in 1960, has one of the highest intakes of state school students of any in Oxbridge.

One such student, Henry Carpenterson from Coventry, simply broke down in tears upon hearing Churchill’s name.

2nd Year Classicist James Pew said “this is an outrageous move from the Liberal elite, who are throwing everything our country holds dear to the dogs. I suppose they’ll want to name it after Karl Marx or something.”

Third Year Natsci Daniel Wozey said: “I don’t know anything about Politics. I can tell you about rocks though.” Thanks, Daniel.

Various alternative names have been suggested, notably “Turing College” after the eminent wartime codebreaker, or “Newton College”, after the man who the punters say built the Mathematical Bridge 11 years after he died.

However, in a stunningly naive display of direct democracy, Lansbury has promised to accept suggestions from the general public, and will lobby for the name that receives the most votes on his website to be instated.

We can’t help but feel he might be making a big mistake there.

  • fair and balanced

    To be fair he was indeed a Tory, and did some dodgy stuff in his later years (see: 1953 coup in Iran)

  • Is this an April fool attempt?

    It’s fucking embarrassing. What has happened to the tab.