Cocktail maestros TOM MICHAELIS AND MICHAEL PEACOCK return with a Freshers’ Week cocktail menu. Consume with caution.

Whether this is your first ever week at Cambridge, and you want to show the world that you can consume more units in a week than you have UCAS points, or this is the beginning of your last year as a student, and you want to give your liver one final beating before reluctantly heading off into the real world, for almost everyone, Freshers’ Week is about getting completely spannered. With the cost of a drink in most Cambridge clubs eclipsing your weekly rent, we present this dandy array of pre-drinks:  guaranteed to make Cindies bearable.

We would like to remind all readers to drink responsibly – please remember to recycle any finished bottles.

Long Island Iced Tea


This classic cocktail is a brilliant way to make the right sort of friends – those with strong livers and deep wallets! Containing 4 different spirits, get everyone to bring a different bottle. This is the perfect pre-drink – for all intents and purposes, it’s a soft drink which will hit you with the force of a rampaging bull about 10 minutes later.

Ingredients

1 shot Vodka
1 shot Gin
1 shot Tequila
1 shot White Rum
Coke to fill

Directions

Chuck all the spirits into a glass with plenty of ice, and mix until it’s well chilled. Top up with coke, and possibly a slice of lime.

For an even more sophisticated option, add a half shot of cointreau. If the parents have given you some extra spending money for Freshers Week, throw together a Beverly Hills Ice Tea by replacing coke with champagne (or cheap fizzy wine) – chug a few of these, and you won’t be making lectures the next day.

Cuba Libre

Or ‘Rum and Coke’, if you’re not trying to be a pretentious prick. The only difference is that a Cuba Libre has a shot of lime juice, which is probably there to improve the flavour, but also means that it’s not unreasonable to count this drink as one of your 5-a-day.

Ingredients

2 shots Rum (White or Dark)
1 shot Lime Juice (or lime cordial)
Fill with cola

Directions

Bang it all in a glass, and chug.

Lets be honest – only chavs and school kids drink Rum and Coke. But by calling it a Cuba Libre, it suddenly becomes a socially acceptable beverage. Perfect.

Semantics: sorts the wheat from the chaff

Gin & Tonic

You will almost certainly drink far too many of these while at Cambridge, so it’s probably a good idea to learn to like them. The classic G&T has been the starting point of many brilliant nights out, and many more unpleasant mornings after. Sainsbury’s Basics Gin will do the job, and while the proportions are entirely up to you, we recommend a 50-50 blend.

Ingredients

Gin
Tonic
Slice of lime

Directions

You’ve managed to get into Cambridge – you should be able to work this one out on your own. A friend once mixed the two in his mouth – not recommended for drinking novices.

If you dislike gin, try a vodka tonic – as above, but with vodka. Alternatively, if you dislike tonic, then you can always omit it – a glass of gin over ice is almost certain to get the night off to an amusing start.

The perfect G&T will win you scores of admirers

Jägerbomb

This drink is illegal in some parts of Australia, for causing binge drinking and irresponsible behaviour. Perfect for freshers week, then. The combination of Jägermeister and red bull tastes so horribly medicinal that its got to be healthy, right?

Ingredients

1 shot glass of Jägermeister
Glass of red bull

Directions

Drop the shot glass into the larger glass. See it away.

If you want to show off and do something a bit more theatrical, try setting up a Jäger-train – using a domino effect to put a series of shot glasses in in one go, as demonstrated a’la Youtube.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3obcy4csx0

Shots

Shots are brilliant fun, easy to drink, and a great way to raise your blood alcohol content to a level appropriate for a night out at Life. We’ve given 3 of our favourite shots below.

Springbok

½ shot crème de menthe, ½ shot baileys (or bargain irish cream)

Tastes like Mint Aero or After Eights. However, if you add a bit of milk you can neck it by the pint.

Tequila

1 shot cheap tequila, slice of lime, salt

Lick the salt, shot the tequila, bite the lime. For bonus lad/ladette points, try a Tequila suicide: Snort the salt, do the shot, squeeze the lime in your eye. Suck up the pain and try and peer pressure someone else into doing it.

Try not to projectile everywhere…

Sambuca

Basically, Sambuca in a shot glass.

Do the Sambuca challenge: Gargle a shot of Sambuca for 30 seconds, return it to glass, wait 10 seconds, swig it around your mouth for 30 seconds, return to glass, wait 10 seconds, neck it. Alternatively, if you don’t want to spit out spirits, just have 3 shots instead.

  • http://www.cocktailcrush.co.uk/ Cocktail Crush

    Your long island should really have triple sec and lemon juice in it but since you already have 4 shots of spirits in there I'll let you off!! You could try to gain some citrus flavour with a flavoured coke though.

  • Seriously?

    Same can be said about every bar and pub in Kingston. The student bar would be no different.

    And is it meant to be taken seriously, or is it all one big joke to you guys? Can’t tell from the pisspoor (no pun intended) article,

  • oh dear..

    Really well researched article backed up with sources and comment from the union of course….

    Just a load of allegations churned out without any evidence. You could have just planted the paper there for all anyone reading this knows.