HOLLY STEVENSON picks the best cultural things to do this week. This week is all about comedy gigs, vampires and celebrities in jungles.
Week 7 is upon us. But before you start thinking about packing up your belongings and going home for Christmas, make sure you check out these cultural happenings. You’d be a fool to miss them.
TV: I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!
When? 10-11pm, every night
Why? My dedication to The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent waned years ago, and yet my love for I’m a Celebrity is still burning strong. The premise is so ridiculous, the ‘celebrities’ so overblown, and the bush tucker trials have a stroke of genius about them (I suspect the same guys came up with the traps in Saw), and, no one of the attendees will attempt to release a turd of a single after it. Oh, wait…
Get me out of here!
FILM: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1
Where? The Vue Cinema, Grafton Centre
When? Out now
Why? Presumably because two films equals twice the cash, the studios behind Twilight are spinning out the final book into two parts. Chronic virgin Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) finally does the horizontal monster-mash with immortal vampire hunk Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and gets shacked up. Unfortunately their newly wedded-bliss is thrown back into a world of pale-faced and deeply-emotional angst as Bella gets knocked up and starts cooking up a little vampire bun in her oven. With a fatal combo of a blood-lusting foetus and a pack of werewolves that aren’t too happy about all of this, it’s all set to kick off.
Hear that? That’s me vomiting in disgust.
MUSIC: The Darkness
Where? Cambridge Corn Exchange
When? Sunday 20th November
Why? OK, so you only know I Believe in a Thing Called Love? So what? There will be more pyrotechnics, air guitar and facial hair than the whole of Cambridge in the depths of Movember. And, I have it on reliable authority that Justin Hawkins owns a costume consisting of one prawn humping another prawn. How can humanity improve on that?
Enjoy the ridiculousness. Go on, you know you want to.
UNION: Life Drawing Classes
Where? Cambridge Union, Bridge Street
When? 7pm, Tuesday 22nd November
Why? I haven’t seen a naked man in a while, and this seems the best, non-illegal way to ogle some flesh. And whenever I try and draw, it looks like a spider is trying to rape a notebook. Though for normal people, it will be an illuminating way to learn how to draw the human form.
I could be good at this…
SOMETHING DIFFERENT: Bright Club
Where? The Portland Arms, 129 Chesterton Road
When? 7.30-11pm, 18th November
Why? It’s well worth trekking out to The Portland Arms for this comedy gig – apart from the headliner Kent Valentine (who seems to solely distinguish himself by being Australian) all the performers are academics doing stand-up for the first time. Seriously. So, not only do you get a proper comic, you also get people with enigmatic tag lines like ‘Emma Ruhle – giving STDs to ladybirds’ and ‘Harry Cliff – Highly Energetic Physicist’. Plus, if they bomb, you can heckle your supervisors. Win win. Buy tickets here.
Well worth the trek.