THE THEATRE GUIDE DOG decides it’s time for giving some awards to some plays.
Thesps, audience, comments-cunts, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Cam-theatre, not to praise it.
The evil that shows do live after them;
The good is often interred with the curtain-close.
But hey, everyone loves goodies. And I’ve been informed some of you have worked very, very hard this term, so I’ll allow it. And if there’s any faction of Cambridge society which needs more back-patting and flattery, it’s the theatre scene, right?
We’ll start nice and easy, shall we? I know some of you are a little slow now term’s over. Some of you are also just a little slow. But that’s OK.
For the most schadenfreude proffered from an online piece of writing since 16 May 2011.
Worst Response to a Review
I know how much you like crying about reviews. Some of you do it so hard/loudly/disgustingly I thought you even deserved a prize for it. Sort of.
The Spirit of Theatre Award
A shiny new award, for those of you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed enough to pay attention. It isn’t always the flashiest or the expensive-est or the loudest shows which show the most cojones. The most ambition. The most innovation. The most spirit. It isn’t even always the most good shows. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. (I do, I’m just not telling you. Work it out yourselves.)
Most Incorrect Review
Think you can do our job better than us, you scum of the comments section? Well you can’t. But we’ll let you feebly attempt to get one back at us, whether it be for our blazing criticism or our swashbuckling style – whichever you found yourself least able to handle. Your turn to try and make one of us cry. Go on, I dare you.
Voting closes on Friday 16th December at midnight. Results will be announced the following day. Oh. And uh, Merry Christmas I guess.