ISAAC DELESTRE brings tidings of orgies, homophobia and sexism from The Other Place.
Well it’s that 0th week feeling again; the unshakable certainty that there simply isn’t enough Modafinil and budget energy drink in the world to get the mountain of vac work done before the start of term.
Yet work seems to have been the last thing on the mind of one of Wadham College’s more reckless libertines this week. He has had to cough up a substantial wad to pay for the re-carpeting of his college room after hosting a naked foam party-that-definitely-was-in-no-way-an-orgy-involving-several-sixty-year-old-men.
Elsewhere, members of Oxford’s LGBTQ society rallied to Exeter College to await the arrival of that freight train of evangelical crazy that was the Christian Concern conference.
After having threatened to sue the Oxford Student for calling them ‘homophobes’ on our front page, some of us were thinking they might be keeping their views on rounding up sodomites and ‘curing’ them of their sinful ways under their mitres this year.
We thought wrong. Like Rick Santorum after a dodgy curry, they just couldn’t help themselves from plastering their hate filled shit across the surrounding area. From littering the College’s JCR with anti-abortion literature to allegedly telling a gay protesters that they were no better than a pedophiles, I think we can safely say the religious right have once again done themselves proud.
Over in the blue corner, former OUCA (Oxford Uni Conservative Association)Secretary Jim Everett, found himself in a spot of bother this week after being unceremoniously flung from the bosom of the OULGBTQ Facebook group.
Everett found himself banned from the group after being caught in a feeding frenzy of feminist rage following his use of the word ‘girl’ rather than woman. As you might expect Everett dealt with the debate in the calm and reasonable manner, telling female member of the group: “I think you girls should go and get another group where you can go hate on the world a circle jerk together”.
Of course it wouldn’t be right to end this column without a giving a sturdy salute to my manga-haired predecessor Master Rothwell. James, may your future of Grub Street hackery and inevitable cocaine addiction be forever bright. Amen.