Win 2 Free Tickets to Fitz Winter Ball

Simply describe Fitz in 5 words to be in with a chance of winning!

UPDATE:  The winner is Katie Mair with “sausage shop for Murray Edwards”.   Both “entertaining and accurate” she receives a pair of free tickets from the ball committee.


Seriously. Just describe Fitz in 5 words.

Fitz will be transformed into a Narnian Winter Wonderland on 29th November. To win two free tickets (worth £78 each) and Turkish delight galore, get as creative as you can. Comment your best attempts below BUT make sure to leave your email address so we can get in touch! Competition closes Thursday 3rd May.

More info can be found at

  • SamuelPeeps

    A shit, ugly, inhospitable tundra.

  • Most of Cambridge

    Sorry, what is fitz, please?

  • Some of cambridge

    Tickets may change my opinion

  • Bobby Lethers

    Built by students, for students

  • Maverick

    Ignores rules about words.

  • D Bogle

    You will need your bike.

  • What?

    A scary place at night.

  • Domestic Dept Fail

    Fitzwilliam Conference Centre: Plus Students

  • skeptic

    Narnian Winter Wonderland my arse

  • The Notorious BFG

    Fresh Fun Friendly Fabulous Fitz!

  • Matty McBroide

    Top place for drinking pints!

  • Comment

    Employs masochistic Tab publicity stunts.

    • Shobha=

      Has anyone bought a ticket?

  • Older colleges

    Better late than never? Ha.

  • fairytale trope

    a land far far away

  • Fitz-Narnia

    No place for a lion

  • TPJ

    Conveniently located for U21s training

  • St John's Rugby Club

    Home of the flairest rugby

  • Rosemary Horrox

    The White Witch's evil lair

  • Fitz Winter Ball

    Brimming with Movember lions' whiskers

  • Moral Dilemma

    Question: What Would Aslan Do?

  • Error

    Booked Aslan; got Boris Johnson

  • Probably didn't choose your college.

  • Fit Fresher

    Fit Fresher Competition Winner 2011

  • Don't need em

    Jumped through ma wardrobe innit

  • Shobha

    No one is funny here.

  • Shobha

    I am not a bitch.

  • Shobha

    Fitz is nice really, promise.

  • ;-)

    Party college smashes Cambridge stereotypes

  • jigga

    ball so hard, shit's cray

  • An Irate Commenter

    Max will vote this down.

  • Bishop of Banterbury

    Top of the Banterkins Table.

  • Jamie Crawford

    About 3 out of 10.

  • TameJokeGenerator

    Squirrels are like our Aslan

  • Best society in Cam

    Home of the mighty Onions!!!

  • Not worth five words

  • Sissy

    Mules, ghouls and sedentary tools!

  • Realistic

    Sausage shop for Murray Edwards.

  • eeh

    Surely everyone's already bought tickets?

  • Fitz

    Producing architectural monstrosities since 1966

  • Meeeh

    At least its not Churchill!

  • Markos

    Less wanted than its museum

  • #winning

    5 words nice 5 words

  • Bricks bricks squirrels bricks bricks

  • Caring

    Only forty comments, no-one cares.

  • Geek

    Fire your ball website designer.

  • Confused

    Why so obsessed with goats?

  • Rat

    Deaned for being a rat.

  • Let's Face It

    The Winter Pool's Biggest Whore

  • Head of Catering

    Even Olive didn't apply here.

  • Lad.

    Go Hard or Go Home

  • Awkward

    Vince Cable's our biggest achievement

  • Matt Kuber

    Fitz is literally, literally unbelievable.

  • Matt Kuber

    Fitter than North London girls

  • Mary Young

    Matriculation Speech Justifying Architecture Necessary

  • Admissions Office

    Word Limit Larger Than Applicants.

  • Admissions Office

    Vince Cable's our biggest achievement

  • Wilkey

    I pooed in my pants.

  • Mike Ellis

    I pissed the bed. Twice.

  • RCP

    Had sex in the library!!!

  • Grace Carroll

    Didn't win? I'll bounce back.

  • Al Macfarlane

    Why is Addenbrookes not closer???!!!

  • Mathmo

    Turkish Delights > Fitz Ball Tickets

  • Claire Hubert

    Perfect Toilets For Quick Nap.

  • Claire Hubert

    Perfect Stairs For Quick Vom.

  • Eilis Kempley

    I tainted the Evelyn Suite.

  • Henry Pelham

    Everyone has seen my dick.

  • Billy No Mates

    All chummy before housing ballot.

  • David Leahy

    I'd rather be at Tesco.

  • Buttery Bank Account

    Must make do with pork.

  • Eilis Kempley

    Left my knickers at Tim's.

  • Just sayin'

    Right-wingers will be lynched.

  • Gavin

    Will protest against ticket prices.

  • Gavin

    Will protest against stupid theme.

  • Gavin

    Will protest against anyone attending.

  • Gavin

    *Would protest if anyone came.

  • Sophus

    Who the fuck are P-block?

  • Unappreciated

    Moderator never approves my suggestions.

  • Sweet Tooth

    Disappointing compared to cake shop.

  • You fools

    Email provided. Wins by default.


    • You fool

      What "Email" box is for.

    • Still 5 Words

      It's next to "Website (optional)".

  • unay unaaaay.

    not worth five words.

  • Hmmm

    Leave email address: Default win?

  • First Undergraduate

    Stolen from Churchill after Pav

  • Tidy Friday

    Chris Roberts Lewis : Men's Names

  • Elitist?

    Trenton says: Not worth it.

  • If Mathmos did Eng

    Hey-guys, a-really-good-trick-for-essay-word-limits-and-also-this-is-to-use-a-hyphen-to-make-it-all-count-as-one-word!!!!!! LoL-technically-I'm-still-under-five-words!!

  • Anon

    Too scared to give Hermes.

  • Free Loader

    Not good enough for June

  • Eddie Butler

    Fitz beat John's at rugby

  • Tom Tryon

    MATE, fitz ball is sick. trust me, i go there and all the girls fuckinnnggg lavv eeeet.

  • Tim's Sister

    I am the Phantom Shitter

  • Sooo……..

    Where did you apply first?

  • Matt Burke

    I pissed Molly's bed yesterday

  • shit

    Max Toomey is full of

  • Ooft

    Fitzwilliam? more like fit william

  • relief

    So glad I wasn't pooled

  • bravo the committee

    publicity officers perform role admirably

  • :)

    There are fitties at fitz

  • Charlie Julius Bysshe Gilmour

    perfect night for bestiality

  • Charlie Julius Bysshe Gilmour

    O shit thats only four

  • Matt Burke

    "Pmate I'm not coming back to Fitz today. Im going home for rehab. My parents say they've never been more embarrassed in their lives. Appaz iwas planking on the dancefloor and my bro was smacking bare ppl he got restrained by 3 bounces then Knocked one out and the police got called. Omg im so fucked so fucked"


    I only need four.

  • False Name

    Closer than Girton: a pity

  • Billy

    Wait, I didn't apply here!

  • Well…

    It's not John's, is it.

    • Fitz Rugby

      If it was we would have been knocked out of cuppers by a group of flair young gentlemen

  • Cheesy but..

    A diamond in the rough

  • Better.

    Unpolished pearl that still shines

  • Ross

    If you watch the entire video and not just the edited version, you can clearly see the woman attacking the officers. She was not in some extremely intoxicated state where she couldn’t function, probably just acting like a typical toddler after the police moved her, by going limp and throwing a tantrum.

    This might also be a bit of a moot point but this woman was charged earlier in the year for assaulting a man lying in intensive care at Altnagelvin hospital.

    She’s not some helpless angel and the police had no reason mollycoddle her. Don’t be so quick to jump on the PSNI’s back. God knows they have a tough enough job to do with people like her around, never mind constantly being criticised by the media.