GRACE FARMILOE and TOMMY SHANE have hunt down Cambridge’s best dressed in this brand new feature.

The current weather reminds me of a woman giving birth: howling, spitting, and shitting everywhere, occasionally broken up by a warm glow that hints at the summer that is to come.

Moseying around Cambridge, we found people layering up with light jackets – savvy? Or did they just optimistically leave their winter clothes at home… I know I did.

Josh, 2nd year Politics at John’s – If Josh gets too hot, he can always grab a Carlo’s

James, 1st year English at John’s – Who needs sunshine with a smile like that?
Suave Suade – Great shoes for the Spring-Summer transition.
Temi, 2nd year Engling at Clare – Stuck between a camera and a hard place.
Alex, 1st year Arch & Anth at Churchill 

Ollie, PHD in English at John’s 

Chloe, 2nd year architect at Caius

  • Gok Wan

    Is it just me or does everyone at John's dress like absolute twats?

    • Statistics

      2/900 =/= trend

      • total tosh!

        #onlythebestatjohn's

  • curious

    Who's the guy in the denim jacket with no name? He is definitely the odd one out…

    • he's at

      john's

  • SamuelPeeps

    Please say I'm not the only one who misread the title.

    • oh gosh

      …pretty sure that was the whole point…

    • Francis Dearnley

      You stole my joke name and passed it off as your own; I'll steal yours.

  • oof

    that blonde would get it

  • Apple

    Hipstamatic

  • curious

    unsure if 'I'm sorry but' is jealous or just very snobby

    perhaps both

    • well

      Evidently it was a mistake as they replaced the photo and deleted the comment

  • fan

    loving both johnians. love me a bit of beard

  • SFE

    ooh look at me I'm so fucking edgy

    • Joe

      oh god you're a twat. Twat.

  • Yuuuuckkk!!!.

    Am I the only one who found the simile at the beginning of this article unnecessarily nauseating??? I wish I'd stuck to my revision notes now…

  • taddie

    picture does not do the spibdog justice, such a beaut.

  • Is it just me or are all of these people essentially in the same outfit?

    • SFE

      it's because they're so fucking edgy

  • admirer

    first two from John's are gorgeous

  • When did dressing

    like you're homeless become fashionable? Most of these people look like tramps….

    • It's called

      being alternative. You look like a complete idiot but at least you dress differently.

      • pff

        Dressing alternatively, just like all your friends. Because you're so DIFFERENT aren't you.

        • hmm

          It's also generally a lot cheaper to buy some second hand clothes than it is to spend crazy fuckloads on some butters jack wills whateverthefuck.

          • But

            You can buy second hand without looking like a hobo.

  • She's so fit

    I LOVE TEMI!

  • Second picture

    Ridiculously photogenic guy?

    • Agreed

      Hear hear.

    • Cumberbitch

      Or Jim Moriarty?

  • Sky

    Solidarity.

  • Call me maybe?

    Josh is a babe

  • this post

    is far too hipster.

  • Confused

    I can't tell whether this is a joke about "well-dressed" or whether this is really what passes as "well-dressed" in fashionable (whatever that means…certainly not sure it's a good thing) circles today…please clarify?

  • disappointed

    nobody here is wet.

  • mez

    promise you yeh… dem black girls pussys be nice and pink. nice and fucking pink i tell ya

  • Monica

    much club, so variety, such wow

    • jeff

      ticklr

      • Bronnie

        Can be spotted a mile off!

  • Flossy

    Brum Boys: Where to meet which type of boy.

    Snobs

    Here we could say that you see guys wearing, well, an abundance of flannel really. However this is the illusion. These man are in no way associated with any form of lumber jacks, in fact they would themselves probably be embarrased to see how their plaid staple can be bought at Primark for a whopping £8 per shirt. Don’t be fooled, their pathetic attempt at facial hair in order to look older is in fact a lie. No real men to be found anywhere, the £1 pints will make sure of that.

    Mechu

    If V necks and blazers are your thing then head right on down. Though these men like to appear to have money, you’re more than likely to find a leech who will chat you up at the bar and gladly letting you buy them a drink with no hint to return the favour. Keep a watchful eye on guys clocking your designer gear, it’s a sure fire way to attract the biggest douche in the club, who wants to hear how much is in your purse, not what is coming out of your mouth. Girls, you rock those high heels, peplum dresses, high waisted shorts and red lipstick (Fashion trends guys HATE) and enjoy your night, just don’t get stuck talking to that guy who thinks he’s so ‘posh’ yet wears a wife beater and gropes you on the dance floor.

    Risa

    If you’re a first year, then I guarantee you’re far too drunk and can’t handle your jagerbombs. ‘Sick’ club right? You’ll probably spend more time trying to get away from a guy outside in the smoking area than being able to hang out with your friends. The cheese room is a sure fire way of clocking ‘that’ guy who keeps trying to buy your drinks at the bar, and who is probably older than the songs being played. Don’t be fooled, those wailing voices from the Karaoke are way more likely to be coming from the guy you saw throwing up on the jagerbull Moose.

    Fab

    Oh the joys of Fab, where you’re guaranteed to see the guy on your course you thought was pretty cool, making a complete fool of himself. The sticky floor acts a slowing mechanism for their 5 year old canvas shoes – now soaked to the bone with spilt beer – as you escape their far too forward advances. Try to avoid booths, these are the complete opposite of ‘fool proof’ areas and you’ll probably be being felt up as they breathe the wonderful aroma of stale beer and cigarettes onto your neck. Guys use it as an excuse to become complete arseholes, see how they congregate around the toilets – which aren’t even worth mentioning – the stink emitting from them is almost as bad as the shit that comes out of their mouths.

    • Tab
      • Klee

        Flossy you seem genuinely butt hurt about something that’s light hearted and tongue in cheek. clear the sand out of your vag, it’s making you cranky

      • Jay

        Flossy’s is better in my opinion! Klee, I don’t think she seems hurt at all – she’s just posting an alternative for the girls.

  • Johnny Wright

    Where do you get the sort of girls who leave their soiled pajama bottoms lying around? I like to then hide them in my saxophone, bringing them out occasionally to fondle myself whilst wearing them. I made a hole.