James Mitchell

James Mitchell

Old man about town JAMES MITCHELL kicks off his brand new column.

The expression “mature student” is one of those contradictory phrases – like “Microsoft Works”, soy milk or Liberal Democrat – which is bound to lead to confusion and disappointment.

When I first turned up to interview at one of the more established colleges just under two years ago, there were no discernible age differences between the other candidates and myself. I probably even looked younger than a fair few of them.

Unfortunately, the tree trunk of my soul exposed me for the twenty-something that I was, flagging up my 80s birth certificate and poor life choices. I was swiftly dubbed far too mature to cohort with the younger, fresh-faced undergrads and sent to interview at one of the less prestigious colleges – whether it was the tweed jacket or the pipe that gave me away, I’ll never know.

The staff at Wolfson College were sympathetic, and were quick to give me a guided tour of the facilities and supply me with some useful literature. In hindsight, it was a bit like being shown round a retirement home. It is perhaps a testament to just how irrelevant Wolfson is regarded, that we are mocked less than, say, Lucy Cavendish or Homerton.

Thankfully, it is a prerequisite of most jibes that some recognition of the subject is needed. It has (literally) paid dividends for Wolfson to escape the public consciousness in other ways as well. I was watching the day-time TV show “Pointless” a few months back (in which the aim is to come up with an answer no one else has thought or heard of), and the category for the jackpot was “Cambridge Colleges”.

In that instance, Wolfson would have landed the contestants twenty-odd grand. Unfortunately for them, they hadn’t heard of us either. Cabbies still insist on pronouncing the college “Wolfston”, although they seem to have no trouble finding it – presumably because we’re all a bunch of geriatrics who lack sufficient stamina to make the short trip back from town.

When I first arrived at Cambridge, the senior tutor at Wolfson sat us all down and presented us with a surprising statistic – that mature undergraduates are less likely to attain a “good degree” than our younger, more dutiful peers. Perhaps it’s because our small dose of life experience has rendered us immune to the criticism and disapproval of our supervisors (many of whom are around our age, or even younger) so that the threat of deadlines and sanctions is treated with a casual disregard.

Or, perhaps more likely, because the same habitual laziness that made us apply to university five or more years later than everyone else has made it difficult to keep up with the mean work rate. But to characterize all mature undergrads as such obscures the truth. Some have quite incredible and even humbling life stories, and have fought against the odds to win their place here.

But it does make it harder to bond with some of the younger undergraduates. My friendship circle is not based on the people who live on my corridor or sit on my course. Rather, the people closest to me make up a cocktail of PhD, MPhil and Masters’ students – with a few fellow undergraduates thrown in for good measure. So the purpose of this column is to attempt to show Cambridge from the perspective of the older student. Over a third of all Cambridge students are postgrads or mature, so it seems appropriate to readdress the journalistic balance.

I hope you can forgive the intrusion – we’re not dead yet!

  • Finally

    A columnist with something new and original to say. Keep it up, Messr Mitchell.

    • Forgive me, but…

      I'm not sure it needed a whole article to tell us that Wolfson is a graduate college.

      • Perhaps not, but…

        you would only have needed to read 8 paragraphs or so to have been informed that Wolfson has undergraduates too.

      • More in the know

        They accept undergrads now.

        MASSIVE FAIL!

    • Know Your Plurals

      *Mr

  • Grandma

    this is good

  • boooooooooring

    so boring

  • shock and awe

    a well-written article on the tab?!

  • M. Python

    Really enjoyed this! Be interesting to see what you write about next.

  • Russell Wilson

    Will you still need me, will you still feed me…

  • http://www.lemonparty.com UCL

    Except you are not a mature student are you you are a postgraduate which makes your column sort of full of shit

    • Pot/Kettle

      No, he's a mature undergraduate fuckwit.

    • false

      Im pretty sure he's on the undergraduate History course actually.

    • Umm

      Actually, no. He is a 23 year old undergraduate, which definitely makes him a mature student. Guess that makes YOU full of shit, doesn't it?

  • Bob

    Very refreshing insight and gives representation to a group of people who often get forgotten for no bloody good reason! As for "boring" above, im guessing you were one of the twats on Jesus green last Sunday?

    • boooooooooring

      it's actually spelled boooooooooring

      plus if you want to chat you can just reply to me above

      P.S. your comment is boooooooooring

  • Richard Pocock

    Love it! A nice mix of self-depreciation and wit. Looking forward to the next …

  • Rimbo

    "Some have quite incredible and even humbling life stories." Surely a couple of examples of these? As a reader, incredulous and humbled is generally better than bored.

    • smart

      arse

      • Original

        and funny way of commenting!

        • Your

          mum.

  • Great

    system! Did you think this up? It's so fun.

  • Calling

    somebody a smart arse, in the most smart-arsed manner of commenting?

  • Self

    aware

  • Grammar Police

    ‘contradictory phrases’ – do you mean oxymorons?

  • Really

    enjoyed this

    • just

      saying

  • looo

    l

  • J

    I saw not a single Ab.

  • Karl

    If this was a female auction the feminists would’ve been up in arms. Just saying.

  • rs

    Double standards much

  • Filthy tart

    Probably all sucked each other off after like in tower! Naughty boys