Top Of The League And Having A Laugh

Cambridge has smashed its rivals, topping the Guardian’s University league tables for the second year.

Cambridge has topped the Guardian‘s University league table for the second year running.

The respected league table, which ranks universities on quality of teaching, spending per student and career prospects, has yet again placed Cambridge well above its rivals, leaving Oxford in second place.

The home of Cindies and Gardies also smashed LSE, St Andrews and Warwick, who made up the top five.

Cambridge took the top spot for 16 out of the 47 subjects the Guardian ranked, including: maths, comp sci, medicine and philosophy. The Other Place mustered a pathetic seven pole positions, and this time it couldn’t even blame Trenton Oldfield for its failings.

Don’t worry, it happens to lots of unis. Cambridge comes first… again.

Ed Legg, a first year PhD student who previously studied at Oxford, warned that Cantabs shouldn’t take the league table too seriously. “Honestly, I think that it doesn’t really matter which of the Universities comes top.

“The university that is best for you and your course is not necessarily the top rated university.”

Other students just displayed sympathy for Oxford. Holly Lovering, a third year from Girton said, “it must be tough losing out on the top spot again. My thoughts are with Oxford’s second-rate students.”

The accolade comes as no surprise, following Cambridge’s crown as the world’s best university in the QS rankings last September, where it beat off stiff competition from Harvard, Yale and MIT.

And there must be something in the air, since Cambridge’s neighbours ARU stormed 14 places up the table to a new high of 77th.

  • Angular Ruskin Stud

    We'd definately beat you on how many nights we go out a week!

    • bill R

      you'll have plenty of time to go out once you are on the dole

      • ARWooo

        So will you when you realise there are no graduate jobs

        • ARe U kidding?

          Even if there aren't any graduate jobs, at least we're not thick

          • Meow

            Easy Tiger

        • AR..

          Who?

          • AR…

            Poo.

        • Look at the Table

          Our career prospects (employment within 6 months) are 82%. Boom.

    • Burnie

      End of a night out:

      "Small or large fries with that?"

    • *Definitely

      (going to be tough to hold on to 77th position with that sort of spelling)

      • M8!

        There's a little issue in the Anglia bit too – if you look close enough you will spot the mistake!!!!!!!!111 (that is definitely not deliberate methinks)

    • Killer Swan

      But "definately" not at spelling.

    • spelling police…

      "definitely"

  • Nelson Mandela

    Fitz beat Johns at rugby

  • Chris Wilson

    Hey I just met you
    And this is crazy
    But here's my number
    So life is ROSYYYYYYYYY

  • Legen..

    ..wait for it….

    • Fuck off

      No

    • 123

      Oh no not Damian again

  • From the top

    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…..

    • asdasd

      <a>

  • shut up

    Holly Lovering, you're barely even at Cambridge…

    • Geez

      she herself may be in cambridge but her nipples are certainly residing somewhere closer to devon

  • ehhhh?

    'the home of cindies and gardies'? dude, we're here, we know that.

  • What on Earth

    Is an 'Entry Tariff'?

  • duke

    It's so lucky that nearly all british universities cost roughly the same and there are generous student loans for everyone.
    It means that virtually all students who have any hope of getting in apply to oxford or cambridge as their first choice, so by getting in one is able to feel that one is better than those who didn't get in (everyone else).

    Unfortunately in America, nearly all the best universities cost very much more to go to, so far more good students are inhibited from applying to those places for undergrad education, so feelings of superiority simply from getting in aren't as justified. Isn't it sad?

    • Duke, Paraphrased:

      Thought I could buy my way in, but turns out I couldn't. Had to go to Durham/ similar instead. Still oh so very bitter.

    • nukem

      I don't know… Princeton offers pretty good financial aid to poorer students. People getting in there can feel pretty superior. And people can feel inferior for not getting in. Which is the main thing.

    • Are you

      an idiot?

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Surely an application system based on merit is better than one based on your (or more likely your family's) wealth?

      Might be time to stop living in the 18th century, 'duke'.

      • duke

        I'm not quite sure how you and other people got that impression. I said it was sad and unfortunate that American undergrad students at Harvard or whatever don't get to feel as superior from getting in, because a much narrower range of students would apply than those that apply to oxford and cambridge.
        Where is this confusion coming from?

        • Admiral Ackbar

          I think its because we all thought your last sentence was sarcasm. Many apologies.

          • Admiral Assumption

            Let's be honest, we all knew Americans aren't capable of understanding sarcasm

        • simple math

          Too bad twice as many people apply to do undergrad at Harvard than at Cambridge, and Harvard's (undergraduate) student body is half the size of Cambridge's.. Plus, despite being one of the most expensive universities in the world, it also offers some of the best financial aid

  • please

    pipe down ravi

  • MacFarlane

    in case you didnt know this, i dont even need your love, cos i is at the top of the league table!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JldTIJZfxYQ

  • Just sayin'

    Holly Lovering, a third year from Girton said, “it must be tough losing out on the top spot again. My thoughts are with Oxford’s second-rate students.”

    It must be tough going to a second-rate Cambridge college

    • Girtonian

      Nope – it's bloody easy

      • It's far away, yes?

        That comeback took 5 hours? You could've almost cycled to Cambridge in that time

      • LOLs

        Girton had the highest student family income…. BUT they have a billionaire's son there so event that's out of the window

        • Orthography Police

          'event'?

    • Girtonian 2

      It must be tough going to a College infested with bloody tourists and intruders from other Colleges.

      And, contrary to popular belief amongst some ignorant fools, Girton is actually one of the best Colleges for certain Tripos subjects. Our poor performance in Tompkins table is on account of being relatively weak in the subjects with the really big cohorts.

      • pity no-one actually wants to go there

      • Mr. Cultured

        Whatever gets you through the night, Girton scum.

  • chopra

    this is the best league table…eva!

    • Johnian

      With Cambridge only coming 5th for economics? Not sure if real Chopra.

  • GDB

    O

  • Thomas Smith

    Well done everyone :)

  • TPJ

    shame U21s aren't top of our league. we need to spend more time training, boys!

  • History

    was one of the 16 subjects too! Why don't we get a mention??? :(

    • Groove Armada

      The Guardian's consistently bizarre decision to conflate "History" with "History of Art" means their table should probably be ignored. Other, more credible tables support the Seeley's superiority, however.

  • ?????

    Surprised Warwick are in the top five, no offence.

    • asr

      Warwick is held up by its maths department.

    • Oh!

      None taken x

  • Phil Lopeman

    This is… ideal!

  • Huh

    'Respected league table'?

    I don't know who takes it seriously except the Guardian itself, and that's probably unlikely. This year we've got Lancaster above Imperial, Loughborough above Edinburgh, Surrey above Bristol, etc etc… Cambridge doesn't need this useless ranking to enhance its reputation.

    • Are you

      a Telegraph reader?

      • Huh

        No. I actually read the Guardian online because it has the best Comment section and decent coverage. But its university league tables are shit.

        • Lecture Handout

          The only reason the Guardian's tables are so out of sync with others is because it doesn't take into account research quality of the faculty in undergrad degrees. Which probably makes a lot of sense as quality and provision of teaching are more relevant.

  • Also

    This ranking's so shit it didn't even take any of Cambridge's Natsci subjects into account, so Oxford automatically came top in Chemistry, Physics etc.

    • Natsci

      Lol our natscis best in the world.

  • http://www.segmanci.com emrah

    where can i see the content photos

  • http://www.segmanci.com emrah

    good..

  • Big Dave

    nice one!

  • Vagos

    Very useful. Well done Amelie!

  • occupy network

    From Occupy London https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=495667910538315&id=124563204315456

    PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE USE

    Leicester student activist on trial accused of “#CopsOffCampus” ‘hate crime’ towards ex-cop security-guard.

    Alistair Robinson is to appear in court charged for allegedly elbowing a security guard on Wednesday 11 December 2013 during a sit-in at the University of Leicester, calling for fair pay for staff at the university. The trial is at Leicester Magistrate’s court today, Friday the 7th March at 2pm.

    Alistair Robinson, 24, was arrested on the 6th of February 2014 supporting a picket-line at the University of Leicester, almost two months after the alleged assault. Witnesses claim that during the sit-in, the defendant was not near Mr Monks, Head of Security at the university, at any time.

    There was also surprise at the timing of the arrest, only three days after it emerged that Mr Robinson had been nominated to run for Students’ Union President in the University of Leicester Sabbatical elections, and the same week that Robinson published an article in the University of Leicester student newspaper, condemning the university’s decision to withhold a full days pay to staff on strike for just two hours.

    Nina Trbojevic, a student at the university said, “Alistair had been in touch with police about his stolen bicycle, between December and his arrest. They knew where to find him, so why did they wait until February?”

    At a bail-hearing on the 21st of February, Robinson was informed by the Crown Prosecution Service prosecutor that the CPS had made a recommendation to police that the case be discontinued due to a lack of evidence. A provisional adjournment date was set for the 7th of March, pending response from Leicestershire Police. However, bafflingly this week, the defence were made aware that Leicestershire Police will be continuing with the case against Robinson; soon after it was discovered that Mr Monks, the security-guard making the accusation, has previously had a long career in the police, reaching the rank of Sergeant before becoming Chairman of the Leicestershire Police Federation.

    Oddly, the assault has been categorised as a “hate crime”. It is believed this relates to the police presumption that the protest was a ‘cops off campus’ demonstration, being on the same day as nationwide cops off campus demonstrations, called in response to the violence used by police towards student protesters at the University of London. Demonstrators at the fair-pay protest in Leicester held a number of banners, with only one of them referring to ‘cops off campus’, in solidarity with London protesters.

    The hearing is today at 2pm, Friday the 7th March at Leicester Magistrates Court, 15 Pocklingtons Walk, Leicester LE1 6BT.

    Press enquiries: defendeducationleics@gmail.com

    ENDS

  • Common Sense

    Hopefully this experience will force him to grow up and cut the militant crap.

    • Nippleless Cage

      While he is actually trying to help the students and staff by putting his ass on the line (in regards to a criminal record) and travelling to other uni campus’s across the country to assist with other peaceful protests (until the fuzz decide to be ball gargling cum buckets) ,what positive things have you done for your fellow man?
      Let me guess, a selfish inward looking life style with no regard for anything bigger than yourself unless it personally inconveniences you.
      Maybe you should start to give a shit rather than putting others down.

    • Real common sense.

      University of Birmingham won the Living wage this week with these tactics. You ‘grow up’.

    • ‘Rubin the banter bus’

      Hahaha I’m assuming this is some politically illiterate, careerist Labour Students waste of space like brad Marshall or Michael Rubin…

      You’d rather just use the su as a springboard for career instead of actually doing anything useful.

      Tit.

  • Dan Fahey

    Court was adjourned on account of Alistair’s solicitor’s firm being on strike as part of the day of action against legal aid cuts.

    There were also questions raised about the legality of how Alistair was identified, due to suspicious use of surveillance systems.

    We expect the next hearing to be on March 12, 10am.

  • Jessie

    He’s so hot!! xx <3