PidgeSecret: Exam Special

PidgeSecret is back with your exam term confessions…

Despite the terrible demise of Library Whispers, PidgeSecret is alive and well! I peppered the UL with some leftover postcards and waited to be inundated with procrastination professionals and their sordid secrets. Here’s what I got:

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  • Matt Burke

    ffs im gonna fail. should have started revising at christmas

    • but…

      you do land ec…

  • Dave Leahy

    gonna buy a squat rack and some kfc and merk bare man

  • Bumholes

    bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes bumholes

    • seriously

      I've had far, far more coherent and sensible posts blocked by the Tab

  • please

    shut up and revise

  • what's the point

    in these if they're all fake. Who writes a random secret in the UL then says 'but no one can ever know'.

    • ………..

      You aren't very clever are you? – I'm looking really hard, but I can't see the person's name anywhere – Oh Shit! Now everyone knows something about someone – Who is it? Can you guess? Can you find them? Can you locate your own Anus? Shove your head up it

  • Pidge secret

    I predict…….. Sex with supervisors, sex, cocks & revision!!

    bingo!

  • MacFarlane

    any comments on the tab that are unfunny, don't make sense and are just shit in general is my handiwork…but then again, so is this!






  • to "desperate"

    BNOC just happens. You're not and nor will you ever be

    • Spelling judge

      *too

      • true pedant

        i hope you're being ironic… he was addressing the so-named "desperate" BNOC

    • 83 years too late

      for a graduate scheme with British National Opera Company, given they closed in 1929.

  • Roald Dahl

    Fitz beat Johns at rugby

    • Johnian

      Nice one Roald. Come back when you have £5bn in assets.

      • Quentin Blake

        come back when you have something funny to say

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JldTIJZfxYQ Money

        doesn't buy talent, apparently.

      • Fitz beat Johns lol

        …one which isnt the league cup

        WHEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY

      • true pedant

        …you don't have £5bn in assets. your college does. and they're never going to give it to you.

        • Humble Johnian

          Pipe down with your irrelevant nonsense.

      • mathmo

        John's has an endowment of c. £350m and fixed assets of c. £260m

        are you sure you're not a Trinitarian?

        • Bin Laden

          Or just shit at basic maths?

  • Right

    Most of these are clearly written by that Tab writer who usually does the stuff about shagging supervisors, shagging in the UL, etc etc etc…. I forget the name. Getting a bit boring now though :-|

    • Legen..

      Cool story bro

  • Ben Dalton

    O Hai!

  • You know…

    that you're allowed to fuck your supervisor, right? Jeez they're not teachers!

    • yeah but

      considering your college pays them… that would technically be prostitution.

      • "Karna Sutra"

        you are clearly not the person who thinks about law

      • You know…

        Only if you actually did it the supervision, which would just be silly. No matter how horny you are you still need to learn!

      • ummmm…

        no it 'technically' wouldn't, unless your college is specifically employing them for sex

      • yeah but

        jeez, take a joke people. a shit one, admittedly.

    • However

      I have it on excellent authority that Supervisors are told they aren't supposed to date Supervisees- fucking is also probably not encouraged either. Something about it will be unprofessional, likely to give rise to complications, favouritism, make other students jealous, etc.

      • Clearly

        you've never supervised physics at Christ's…

        • ummm

          or law…

  • Holly Lovering

    I'm a bkoc.

    Biggest Knockers On Campus.

  • Lopeman

    oi, blud, fuck you

  • William Shakespeare

    I once had sex in the bookstacks!

    • isaac newton

      who hasn't?

      • true pedant

        newton supposedly died a virgin, jussayin'.

        • Robert Hooke

          Nonsense, I got fucked by Newton…

  • Christiano Roberts

    Fair cop, you got me. 2nd from last was me!

  • Dieudonne Munyabarenzi

    Hurrah for drunk meaningless sex.
    Soon we will be on made in chelsea people.
    Keep calm and carry on