Cambridge students in uproar at Marine Le Pen’s invitation to speak at the Cambridge Union.

WARNING – THIS ARTICLE MAY OFFEND THOSE WITH PATHETICALLY WEAK SENSIBILITIES.

The student community in Cambridge is furious at the right to free speech being granted to a foreign politician whose views don’t align with the bastion of morality that is British politics. According to the latest polls, not a single man, woman, or child in the country is either approving of the invitation or indifferent to it.

Pointing out the possibility of offending anyone who usually has an epileptic fit at the use of the word (if you are an epileptic, look away now) ‘fascist’, CUSU claims that David Cameron’s suggestion of revoking Le Pen’s passport won’t be sufficient punishment for her insolence. Nor will inseminating her with Nicholas Cage’s sperm. In an exclusive interview, an anonymous source within the Student Union sensibly suggested that the necessary thing to do is “Fight fire with fire, and treat her how a fascist government would treat an ethnic minority! She doesn’t deserve liberal treatment!”

Upon her arrival, a series of street marches, protests, parades, carnivals, flash mobs, exhibitionist gatherings, orgies, robberies, devised pieces by EDE students and public shootings are scheduled to take place, for very obvious reasons. Le Pen will then be imprisoned and executed under the Immigration Act of 1971, Sexual Offences Act of 2003, or the Treason Act of 1351 (or any other legal bill, depending on the whim of whatever appropriately-viewed judge is chosen for her condemnation). The possibility of reinstating the pre-1861 death sentence for homosexuals and then making bogus allegations against Le Pen has not been ruled out as an emergency measure.

There have been rumours circulating over the past few days of an emergency meeting of the world’s Christian leaders to discuss the legality of revoking Marine Le Pen’s right to possess a similar name to the Holy Virgin, and the potential use of loopholes to circumvent legal challenges. Pope Benedict XVI has announced his return to his position after declaring that this controversy in Cambridge was “a sign that he was still needed for spiritual guidance”. In contrast, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, revealed he was “fucking glad” to have resigned before “this shit-storm hit the moral fabric of our society”.

A fucking outage: Marine Le Pen laughing, evilly

Available for interview after a surprise return to the spotlight is Jesus Christ himself, who felt that this was the perfect time for his second coming:

“Looking at what’s happening in the Cambridge Union, I realised just how in need of me these people were. My return to Earth was never necessary until now. I’m sure the Middle East will sort itself out eventually.”

Also coming back from the dead are Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, every Dalai Lama to have lived, and Nick Clegg’s high approval ratings, which were all discovered turning in their graves soon after the announcement of the Union speakers were made.

Two students, Jen and Eric, taking a break from making Molotov cocktails, were available for comment. Speaking in perfect unison, they expressed their fear that their intellectual conformity was being put at risk:

“The Union usually chooses such appropriate speakers for our traditionally left-leaning university. What do they think they’re doing, inviting someone whose opinions I might not agree with? I’ll just get confused. Since when do the Union think they have the right to provoke debate?”

In other news, this Marine got off bloody lightly, considering she shares the same name:

  • Surely

    the main debate it’s going to provoke it whether or not she be allowed to speak? She isn’t going to be in any debate at the union, she’s been given an open floor to speak and judging on past Union appearances by ‘controversial’ speakers the audience will be allowed to ask a couple of questions on very specific topics.

  • A normal student

    who even is she?

  • you could have

    just written an article saying that the ‘deny free speech to protect free speech’ brigade are silly, but instead went for this. 3/10

    • Can we move past this two-fingered “free speech” response?

      Given the limited number of events held at the Union, all decisions that the committee makes on who to invite have political implications. Possibly her popularity in France, her relatively radical views and the growing focus on immigration policy here and in France make her worthy of this platform. On the other hand, might the speaker event turn into an uninformative one-sided piece of political showmanship? Are her experiences and opinions actually going to lead to the most interesting and informative discussion? These are the questions I think we should be asking.

  • you

    should be ashamed of yourself. you, a white, british male might find this stuff funny, but this woman is a facist, propounding views that are scarily popular in france. it’s a serious issue you and all of us should take seriously.

    • bastionoftruth

      If you’re so sure someone’s ideas are wrong, you shouldn’t be sc scared of giving them the floor…

    • Henry

      I’m sorry. As a white, british male, my attitudes are defined by societal expectations. Not much I can do about it.

    • 35 people at this moment in time

      clearly don’t get sarcasm

    • Someone who appreciates humour

      Wow. Please, learn to spell

  • This is

    Bloody brilliant

  • You take this as a joke?

    This woman is one of the most racist and fascist politicians on the spectrum. Her father has denied the Holocaust and has long been a leading figure of the European far-right. You think it’s funny that people are horrified she be given a platform here – perhaps you would think differently if your family/friends were the people she is waiting to isolate, deport and worse should she ever be allowed into power.

    • Denying

      the holocaust doesn’t make you a racist, it makes you largely oblivious to solid historical evidence, or too stupid to understand it. What would be *racist* would be saying the holocaust did happen and that you agree with it as a political policy. Stop confusing stupidity and racism. Different things.

      • Historian

        Stupidity isn’t thinking the holocaust didn’t happen, its too much ingrained into consciousness, claiming it didnt happen is an extreme viewpoint, it isnt someone being ‘oblivious to solid historical evidence’ it is deliberately denying the facts and is illegal in some countries.

      • Anthony Jeselnik

        “My Mom for most of her life was a holocaust denier. She couldn’t believe the Holocaust happened until a couple years ago, we had an intervention. We had a Rabbi come in and walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch Schindler’s list. After that, my Mom did a complete 180: now, she can’t believe it only happened once.”

    • Sophist

      A syllogism.
      1. This woman’s father is a holocaust denier.
      2. This woman’s father has long been a leading figure on the European far right.
      3. This woman is one of the most racist and fascist politicians on the spectrum.

      You are a moron. Marine Le Pen has actively sought out the Jewish vote in France, and has always distanced herself from racism and racialism, including when her father engages in it.

      • wait

        I agree with the fact that the original comment lacked basic logic and, it’s true, Marine has indeed distanced herself from many of her father’s statements.
        But the reason to that is just that she understands the importance of what is politically correct.
        Her xenophobia is real, it’s just intelligently (more like, less-stupidly) argued.Take a look at one of the pillars of her campaign, which is to point out the “islamization” of France…

      • Socrates

        1. This woman’s father is a holocaust denier.
        2. This woman’s father has long been a leading figure on the European far right.

        3. Marine Le Pen is a cat.

        • she compared

          Muslims praying to the Nazis occupying France. Given the prevalence of Holocaust denial in her party, I think it’s safe to say she knows how to play the racist historical revisionist game. Nice of the Union to give her the floor a week before the EDL saunter down to Cambridge too. Good week to be a Muslim in Cambridge.

      • Jim Hutton

        Vous me faites rire.

  • Anonymous

    What do you have against NIcholas Cage. Have you not seen Con Air, or Raising Arizona, or Adaptation? He is a fantastic actor. On a far more important point, this article is silly and offensive.

    • jamie palmer

      I hope all the thumbs down this comment received are due to the second point this post makes.
      Nicolas Cage is indeed great. He makes every movie he’s in more entertaining. Guaranteed.

      • Anonymous

        Nicholas Cage ruins movies.

  • Who cares…

    CAIUS BEAT JESUS AT RUGBY!!!

    • Who cares…

      FITZ BEAT JOHN’S AT RUGBY!!!

  • hahahaaa

    this is so offensive

  • Not a racist or fascist

    I thought this was fucking hilarious personally…. maybe people need to take a step back and remember the difference between humour and fascism…

  • This is

    a brilliant article.

  • BOOM

    I’ve watched that video seven times now. It just gets better and better. It’s the camp little wiggle dance before BITCHSLAP MOTHERFUCKER

  • BIG FAN OF HENRY

    Henry, you have managed to demonstrate what I have been muttering incoherently about all week, namely that the mantra “A platform for free speech, for everyone whose views we agree with” sounds very dodgy.
    Cracking article. If you ever want to meet up specifically to be silly and/or offensive , let me know.

  • blegh

    Funny article but I personally don’t see the problem with allowing her to speak. It’s doesn’t mean you condone her actions. It may even be the platform the French left-wing need to show those who are leaning to the right just how mad she really is (assuming there is sufficient coverage of her speech/whatever)

    • bastionoftruth

      EXACTLY

  • This is awful.

    I am a Muslim, queer woman. I come from a country where, if I even allude to my sexuality, I might face violence. I came to the UK because I wanted to avoid a place where views that degraded me for being attracted to both men and women were given free reign. Now I come to Cambridge and I find that one of the most prestigious societies (of which I have been a member for three years) is giving someone who abhors everything I am a privileged platform; this woman would, if she had here way, get rid of me for my faith, my ethnicity and my sexuality.

    Now, go on, tell me that I have “pathetically weak sensibilities” for not wanting her to speak. Go on.

    • You have

      “pathetically weak sensibilities” for not wanting her to speak. Really, you do. Just don’t go if it really bothers you. Or rather, do go – and ask an intelligent question.

    • La Plunk

      You do. Tolerance and liberty have to cut both ways or they are meaningless. A tolerant society isn’t one where everybody must approve of homosexuality and Islam, but one where disapproval is expressed peacefully.

      • This is awful.

        And what possible question could I ask that would stop Le Pen, or any other far right group from hating me and my people? What question is going to make her change her views? “Why do you hate me for my faith?” – will that do it? “Why do you believe that I cannot chose to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?” – is that going to do it?

        It strikes me as colossally arrogant to claim that one of you can ask the question which will change Le Pen. She doesn’t care about your opinion – she only seems to care about a world where I am not welcome, simply because I am who I am.

        If this were a debate *maybe* I would go. But to put her as a keynote speaker seems to dignify her with opinions worthy of respect.

        Also, show me a society where disapproval of homosexuality and Islam, when those things are part of a political program, are expressed “peacefully” – that is not the place I came from. Nor is it many other parts of the world. It’s saddening to think that the views which I, and many others, fled my country to escape are being dignified in Cambridge’s most respected society.

        • Do you by any chance

          fancy a threesome with me and my girlfriend?

    • I think

      you’ll find that the UK is a liberal and accepting country exactly because it gives everyone a voice, regardless of how out of the norm or “offensive” that voice may be in during that particular era

    • there’s

      a lot of fucking distance between home where you can be hit for being gay, and the fact that in Cam someone nearby might say some stuff you don’t like. also your continuing membership of the Union implies that you were OK with DSK and Assange and whatever other nasties showing up – is it suddenly so much worse because you personally, as opposed to nameless others, are offended by this speaker?

  • YAWN

    Is no one else bored of the same old debate everytime someone controversial comes to speak at the Union? All those head-in-the-clouds, artsy, lefty types are always SO OUTRAGED by whatever the new development is that there’s a lame, pointless protest.

    It’s not like she is going to convert everyone to her ‘facism’. Let her talk and then we can all laugh at her in the bar afterwards.

  • J. S. Mill fan

    FFS, you do not win a war of ideas by employing battle tactics. Yes, obviously Le Pen’s views are completely disagreeable, but the right way to help them lose sway is NOT to use underhand techniques such as platform denial. Educate people by presenting them with competing views and the arguments for and against each one (your own view is right, remember, so that should work out in your favour. Right?), train people to think for themselves, and let them make up their own damn minds. As the person who is responsible for pretty much all libertarian views having anything near the platform they do in this country once wrote, ignorance of your opponent’s view is ignorance of your own. The fire with which you fight for your beliefs is stoked by your opponents.

  • confused

    As someone who doesn’t regularly base my life around the intrigues in french politics, can anyone tell me what she personally has done to merit the condemnation she has received.
    Granted, her father is an unpleasant, racist, holocaust denying, homophobic thug, but we can’t ban people from speaking just because of what their parents have done. While it is entirely possible that she is all the above, I just don’t know, it does appear that the primary argument espoused against her is her parentage.

    • norman

      I doubt that very many people complaining about her presence actually do know what she’s done.

      They either see the surname “Le Pen” and vaguely remember him or they simply take at face value accusations that she’s racist without seeking to find out what acts of racism she has committed.

      • or maybe they just read

        about the French authorities taking legal action against her for “inciting racial hatred” by
        comparing muslims praying in the street (due to overcrowding) to the brutal Nazi occupation of France. just a thought.

  • Much needed

    A great article. Not only because it’s funny (which it is) and makes a good point (which it does) but because trotting out the free speech/hate speech arguments has been done, so many times. Particularly badly this week by the Guardian in particular. We know, from past experience that CUSU doesn’t want her to speak, the Union do, and she will, and that the majority of students a) don’t care and b) won’t have their minds changed by well reasoned argument by the opposing side of the debate.

    So nice to see something a bit different.

  • Hard Hitting Student Journalism RIght Here Bro

    I feel like my brain is melting after such a shit attempt at being edgy. Sure you’ll do well at whatever shit newspaper you end up working for though.

  • grit bin

    … and this is what happens when people with names like Henry St. Leger-Davey are allowed to write newspaper articles

  • Edward III

    ‘Treason Act of 1351′. I love you! Thanks for remembering me!

  • Cambridge Loonion

    Is there a more posh twat-ish surname than “St Leger-Davey”

    • St Legend-Ravey

      You appear to have confused “posh twat-ish” with “half French”.

    • Clavi Hun

      love the fact you’ve called yourself a loonian – bet that gets all the girls.

  • Phoebe *insert posh, twat-ish name here*

    You are meant to be intelligent people who go to a top university, yet here I am reading these inane comments posted by people who can’t spell or understand a humorous, sarcastic article written by a student with a posh, twat-ish name. Your lack of humour and inability to spell amazes me.

  • If Marine Le Pen…

    …was a grammar Nazi, she would have invaded this article.

    • true pedant

      if Marine Le Pen WERE a grammar Nazi…

  • Anonymous
  • I love

    that the media tell us what we’re angry about, and to what extent

  • Wikipedia

    Everyone should read this before coming to any conclusions about whether or not she is a ‘fascist’, as the media has claimed… Strong word, not to be used lightly. If you’re going to stand on either side of the fence on an issue like this, make sure you do your homework first: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine_Le_Pen

  • Chloe *insert posh, twat-ish name here*

    Guys give Marine a break, its not her fault she has a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.

  • grit bin

    I’m calling it – single worst Tab article ever, in the history of the paper.

  • This is really

    not a thing

  • Jean H

    As a law student I must point out that the Drinking in Designated Zones Act 2003 (if it existed) wouldn’t feature on a tort paper, it’d be a criminal offence if punishable by a fine or jail time.

    Knowing the law is no bad thing and people shouldn’t be looked down upon for knowing their rights. I’ll never lecture my friends on the law but they all seem happy to be told about the law relating to the quarter they’re carrying in their pocket or stashing in their house.

    • Really Jean?

      Please tell me you’re being ironic

      • Jean H

        As a law student, yes.

  • Sjd1990

    The only Tab article I’ve ever agreed with.

    • TOM

      Naah the other article I agreed with was the one which was on your mum and how she was a slag…

  • anon

    you can’t go to jail for committing a tort

    • J_ohn

      You can if your action/inaction forming the tort, includes the actus reus/mens rea for a crime. Anyone for assault?

      Just saying lol.

  • Tom

    My name is Tom…I’m a law student…LIBEL ACTION?!

    • Anon

      Newstead v. London Express?

  • Seb

    The writer of this article should be careful about making comments on other people. I googled Jack’s name to find out who he was and saw things that he would not like published……..

    • If you found them

      on Google, presumably they already have been published. Moron.

  • Anon

    what a load of bollocks. Jealousy is a cruel mistress

    • dfdf

      “as a tab journalist I’m selling my soul to write scummy clickbait articles so daddy can persuade the board of his newspaper to give me a job”

      • Jack founded the Tab. He’s kind of given himself a job.

  • JewishGuy

    Sorry Tab, you’re utter shit as usual.

    • girl

      Agreed

  • Lucas Clover Alcolea

    Na mate, can the author of this article please shut the fuck up :)

  • TOM

    Fuck Jack…Im sure he’s doing a completely pointless degree like English which will enable this insufferable fuck to at most get a job at Burger King #BurgerFlipper

    • Anon

      Way to rise above it, Tom. Well done mate!

    • Rob

      Hardly any degrees offer you the straight practical skills to go into a singular line of work.

      Degrees simply show employers that you are a reliable adult who knows how to work hard over a long period of time and is therefore employable.

      You may consider English a degree with no career opportunities. But you can go into pretty much any line of work with any degree in this day and age. (Obvious exceptions are things like medicine etc)

  • Sam in Cardiff

    I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were allowed to be this offensive to a particular group of people. I’ll bear this in mind. At least now I know I am the least important person in society, am hated by everyone and my opinion should matter least of all (I already knew it didn’t matter because I’m a white, heterosexual male).

    Maybe, instead of putting out rubbish like this, attacking Law students and Russell Group Universities (A quick look in the ‘Popular’ box to the right of this), the Tab could focus on things that matter to students, rather than an unfounded, offensive opinion piece.
    How about the recent controversy over Oxford’s NUS membership referendum, the recent U-turn by lecturers and markers, the debacle over Griff Rhys Jones no longer being appointed as Chancellor of Cardiff University. Those are just 3 items which affect students that can be reported upon truthfully and inoffensively.

    • atticus finch

      literally no-one gives a shit about the things you’ve listed. don’t you think if it was important, the tab would want to publish it?

      also i’m pretty sure your outrageously bad behaviour in this comment box is the type of ‘smuggary’ jack was arguing against.

      suck my dick, sam

      • Sam in Cardiff

        Thank you for your opinion. Could you now explain why my behaviour is ‘outrageously bad’ (meaning: Without justification) and Jack’s comments in the article are not ‘outrageously bad’?

        • ralph

    • Sigh

      “(I already knew it didn’t matter because I’m a white, heterosexual male).”you voted for UKIP, didn’t you?

      Twat.

    • J_ohn

      “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were allowed to be this offensive to a particular group of people.”

      OK so are we talking about ‘allowed’ legally here, or under some unspecified moral scheme?

      I think it’s good you’re having a go back at the author. I think he’s inviting that. We as law students should probably take it on the chin a bit though. I’m guilty of some of what he says, and probably won’t be able to change it completely. But not other things. There are law student subcategories which fit what he describes, different types of law student, some more annoying than others!

    • DULL

      Everything you have suggested is dull. Dull, dull, dull. You are what is wrong with the world and no one except for the dull people of the world will ever invite you anywhere and the time you have will be dull. You will make dull, slightly witty but inherently dull jokes that you’ll remind people of at the next dull event where something dull but slightly similar happens.

      You’ll meet a nice, perhaps pretty, woman who you’ll convince yourself you’re in love with but really she is as dull as you. Together you will raise a dull family in a dull but well-to-do neighbourhood, probably in the suburbs somewhere where you will drive your fuel-efficient but dull car to your dull job everyday where you will be surrounded by other dullards such as yourself who make equally dull jokes, have equally dull stories about their dull weekend and do similar but slightly different dull jobs to you.

      Eventually you will hit your 40s, perhaps having moved into a second, perhaps third dull house. You’re lovely dull wife be be at this point bored with you, having realised you are dull, and have taken to drink to spice things up. She’ll make innapropriate comments at dinners with your dull work-friends who are uncomfortable but don’t know what to do. Eventually she’ll probably move back home, having realised everything was for a waste and she should have taken that year out to go and live in Canada after uni like daddy said and then everything would have been different – who knows? Maybe she’d have met a burly lumberjack instead of a dullard.

      You’ll carry on, she’ll have left the unimaginative and dull kids with you, and you’ll do your best, because you love them and they love you. You’ll carry on, you’ll raise them well. Eventually they go to university and make dull friends and comments on articles as if their opinion mattered, they too imagining that people will read their work in bed or in the library, slowly nodding their head and smiling, saying to themselves “that guy, he’s got it bang on”. And they’ll post their comment and smile to themselves, knowing that they have done their daily duty to educate the masses a little more about the important things. They’ll never reach outside the box, why would you need to? It’s just so damn comfy in this dull little world. Eventually they will graduate, get dull jobs and marry someone dull.

      You’ll become the dull grandfather. When you’re asked to tell them a story you’ll have to find a book: you’ve done nothing interesting in your life worth telling and you were never really good at all that creative malarkey.

      Eventually you will die. Your remaining dull friends, those that haven’t already popped their dull, colourless cloggs, will come. They will say nice things about you, who knows? Maybe your wife will come back, refreshed and renewed from doing the afformentioned lumberjack, having forgotten how you sucked most of her soul away. She’ll be a little sorry that things didn’t work out, but it was all for the best, you were better off without each other.

      Everyone will stand around, they’ll shed a tear or two, go to the wake and have a drink and then get on with their dull lives. You will be forgotten, all that will remain is a set of dull comments on a website.

      You sir, are dull.

      • Cant barrage the Farrage

        #rekt

      • BEST

        TAB COMMENT EVER

  • A

    coming from a law student, you can shut the fuck up, this article could be written about any other degree. also get your facts right, as journalist that would be quite useful.

  • Onlooker

    Biggest pile of shit I’ve ever read (and I’m a lawyer).

  • chocolatemandem

    Someone didn’t get accepted for the LLB…

    • Edie H

      someone also owns a media organisation in their 20s and will probably be able to retire within a decade.

      • John

        A cock-measurer as well as an idiot. The sooner you retire the better off we will be not reading this shit.

        To end in typical Tab fashion: please refrain from publishing factually inconsiderate material, and of course, “suck my dick”.

  • Dave

    Also applicable to the Matts that study medicine.

  • Minion5

    Paragraph #2. I didn’t learn it from Tort, he learnt it from Criminal Law I. ….I’ll fuck off now.

  • Anon

    Someone has a stick up their ass. I vote daddy issues or he didn’t get into law school and feels like having a public cry about it. Yet another article filled with utter rubbish, false “facts” and unprecedented, opinionated drivel. Apparently anyone can write for this with wrong stereotypes, fake legislation and making a fool of himself by claiming tort to be a criminal offence.

  • fuckknuckle

    i dont see the point in this website everything you do is shit. Id be more embarrassed about working for the tab than being a stuck up law student

  • Anon

    As a tab journalist, can you please shut the fuck up

  • guest

    And I believe the author means the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971. There is no Misuse of Drugs Act 1979.

    Could Mr Rivlin’s real issue be that he doesn’t like his badly researched pieces of journalism to be corrected?

  • LUTHER VAN SAUS

    LUTHER VAN SAUS

    STUDIO DURHAM

    TUESDAY 3RD JULY

  • guest

    shabby fucking ‘journalism’. law is difficult, and there are pompous people within every degree subject

  • FB

    I am a law student and this article has made me hate myself a bit

  • Law Students

    We’re all Cunts.

  • Law Students

    We’re all Cunts.

  • Lord Denning

    Bless, look at all the people biting the bate in the comments. As a lawyer (trololol) I found this hilarious. Learn to laugh at yourself, or you’ll end like ‘Tom’, if you aren’t already

  • Rhys Martin

    Actually the seventh paragraph of Buxton LJ’s judgement in the case of R v Trades Union Congress concerns the requirement of the State to implement a Framework Agreement under Article 2(1) of EU Directive 96/34 and has little to do with how many hours there are in a week

  • Probatio vincit praesumptionem

    1, Lawyer is not a protected term, unlike barrister or solicitor, Tom and anyone else can freely call themselves a lawyer. Although, with a law degree AND an additional superfluous GDL, I would support Tom’s right to say he was a lawyer.

    2, Tom tried to help his drunk friend and accompanied him to the police station – what an amoral heartless bastard. Even simply for moral support or to act as a witness to the arrest without any legal knowledge, I applaud his loyalty.

    3, What is deplorable about offering a legal perspective in conversations? Providing different views and opinions makes for a better discussion. You may like to sit alone and recount your own narrow-minded and uninformed platitudinous piffle, others like variety of knowledge and experience.

    4, “[...] the moral certainty of the law” – moral certainty?! I have never seen anyone manage to degrade and obfuscate hundreds of years of legal philosophy and jurisprudence in one statement as you just have. I suggest you read about legal positivism to educate yourself on the disconnect between law and morality. HLA Hart to start, and then maybe some Kelsen or Austin should get you rolling. Alternatively, study law.

    5, Your paragraph about the work experience week, being scared to check BBC news, is absolutely spot-on. Reading old, discarded documents and sucking up to partners then running home to add them on LinkedIn is accurate and amusing. Sadly, that is the way it works…

    • J_ohn

      Yeah I agree on point 4, not all lawyers subscribe to the naturalistic fallacy (although some are utter fetishists about it).

  • JuicyJew

    Jack Rivlin can suck my big fat lawyer cock!

  • Emma

    As a human being, I am wondering if you have any concept of what Lawyers do….do you realise that they help many people who need their advise and expertise…..? In some instances they even save lives…..

    As a Lawyer, you need to be very very careful, you’re in danger of being defamatory….(something that IS covered in Tort).

    I would employ Tom in a flash…you? No. Chance.

    • Dr Ward

      do you even ellipsis, lawyer brah?

  • louise

    Seriously, all the commenters here are just proving the author right! Stop getting butthurt and learn to take yourselves a little less seriously! The article is obviously satirical!

    • dfdf

      you’re a slag with a brick on a string for a heart.

      Don’t get butthurt, it’s just satire!!

  • Siân

    This generalisation is horrible. Law students work hard to get to where they want to go, how would any other student like being told to fuck off? If you don’t like it, then don’t be friends with someone like that. Or be a good friend and tell them, don’t write a stupid article generalising people.

  • f

    How can this bitter jealous shitpiece of an article be considered journalism. Good luck in your career Rivlin. Everyone wants you and your terrible articles to ‘really, really fuck off’

  • Seriously?

    You’ve just written an article that depicts a stereotype not a law student. Plus most of it isn’t even accurate, so maybe you should spend more time listening to your friend tom rather than criticizing him…

  • Joe Ferris

    I am this.

  • Luke

    I’m sorry but this hilarious and spot on.

  • Edie H

    “Tom is the charmless lovechild of nine grand tuition fees and the death of God”

    This is my favourite sentence ever.

  • Lawyers think this is bad?

    Should see the one on medics by the Bristol Tab…
    http://bristol.tab.co.uk/2014/03/13/why-medics-need-to-get-over-themselves/

  • Jacksonville

    I’m starting to question the credibility of the tab as a whole.

  • HJLL

    Cutting edge stuff from the tab.
    It just sounds like having a go at “that guy” in your friendship group that no one likes but he doesn’t realise it… I remember when I was 10…

  • John

    It takes a ballsy Cambridge student to criticise other people for being pompous. But, more importantly, only an idiot would do journalism while complain about other people for sharing their unwanted opinions.

  • Charlemagne

    What about those epse cunts

    • Marcelo

      Never met an epse who WASN’T a cunt tbh, way worse than law

  • Lawyer…

    Twatty article written by the ignorant for the ignorant.

  • emmy

    (don’t know why I’m still surprised after all this is the Tab) but wow, what a witty, wonderfully written title…

  • Grant

    I’m guessing he deliberately included the legal errors to get over zealous students to comment and thus prove his point. Total genius, credit to the author.

  • Will UEA

    Any point you were ever hoping to make in this article was lost under the meaningless tantrum of a six year old girl, who appears to be the one writing this article.

  • Give the man some credit

    “Tom is the charmless lovechild of nine grand tuition fees and the death of God – a play-it-safe bore who craves the moral certainty of the law.”

    The best sentence the Tab has ever published. Bravo.

  • Lawyer

    I’m a lawyer and I found this really offensive.

  • Notalawstudenteither

    What a fucking boring wankstain you are. Crap article. Crap writing. Crap style. Crap views. Crass, illiterate rubbish. Bore off and stop infecting the airwaves with your monotonous, egotistical pish. And while you are at it, take a bite out of my shite.

  • George

    Its good to know the Tab really does its research. Detailed, in depth and comprehensive research because of course this “Tom” is the only person studying law. Its this sort of lazy journal hack journalism that really gives the tab a bad name.

  • Katie

    Ketamine is a class C drug…..

  • Cheska Alice Rycraft

    Ketamine is a class C drug

  • Rational

    Why not replace this whole article with “I don’t like this”, repeated a few dozen times?
    Mr St Leger-Davey is complaining about the Union – can’t he muster one argument, or engage with one of his opponents?
    Idiotic.

  • Colin

    Ha, definitely not representative. How many “mouthy arseholes with a massive sense of entitlement” comments did you have to leave out?

  • Henry ‘Wake and Bake’ Field

    I’m a big fan of the locals myself – on my recent annual stalking trip to the Scottish Highlands I was fortunate to have a chap from County Durham as my sub-ghillie, a very nice fellow who knew how to extract a stag from a moor. Pity there was no garron.

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  • erm

    did you consider its still a genuine guy looking for a wife to get into the country by but just using a fake picture without knowing whose it is?

    • uwotm8

      Highly unlikely this is a genuine attempt at finding a wife for VISA purposes.

      Even so, completely besides the point of the article.

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  • Don’t fall into the….
  • L

    Literally just what I came to the comments section to write. He would be studying his BPTC to get to the bar!

  • Amber

    I was literally going for the same thing, but felt that it goes against everything in this article. Oh well, glad I’m not the only one :)

  • Sam in Cardiff

    Last time I checked, it was. Besides, at no point do I bring up the assumption that Cardiff being a Russell Group University is relevant.

  • Laura.

    Thick headed around here doesn’t denote stupidity, but to be stubborn and not willing to drop a point when they are clearly wrong.