The romance of the cup was on full display in this weekend’s Cuppers Quarter-Finals. We bring you all the thrills and spills.

The romance of the cup was on full display in this weekend’s Cuppers Quarter-Finals. We bring you all the thrills and spills as Fitz, Girton, Downing and Jesus all booked their places in the semi-finals.

 

Fitz ease past Darwin

Fitz marched on to the semis with a comprehensive defeat of Darwin. The Grads were slow to get out of the blocks and never really got into the game, while the Division 1 side always looked comfortable.

Five different scorers helped Fitz to victory, and they will play Girton/Magdalene in the next round. Darwin are left to concentrate on their progress in Div 2.

Coldham’s Common was the setting, a bleak tundra much like Fitzwilliam itself and they certainly looked at home despite being the away side. Right from the off they set about creating chances and troubling Darwin’s back four with direct runs at the defence. If it weren’t for an impressive display from goalkeeper Patrick Dickinson they would have had more joy.

The deadlock was broken by Hobbs, ghosting in to volley home a flicked-on long throw from zu Ermgassen. Fitz failed to push on though, and through some slightly uncertain defending handed Darwin a couple of chances, with Rob Norfolk’s bustling runs causing some bother. It wasn’t until  zu Ermgassen buried a 20-yard shot in the bottom corner that they really began to assert themselves.

Early in the second half captain Bogle’s header made it 0-3, and not long after Daniel Lobron pounced on a loose ball, calmly lobbing the ‘keeper when one-on-one. From then on it was a formality, Fitz beginning to play the sort of football that sees them top of Div 1. Rennes topped off the victory late on, slotting across the ‘keeper from a Hobbs cross. Job done for Fitz, and a semi to look forward to, while Darwin’s sporadic pressure never evolved into any palpable threat.

 

Girton pile the hurt on Magdalene

In the battle of the Division 3 sides Girton cruised passed a Magdalene side who had previously won every game so far this season. Read our full report here.

Girton captain Jack Rans rallies the troops

 

Pembroke left pen-broke by Maini’s heroics

by Tim Kitching

On a sunny Saturday afternoon on their home turf Jesus needed penalties to see off Division 2 Pembroke. They were left to thank their goalkeeper Maini who saved the first two penalties. Maier showed nerves of steel, scoring the decisive spot kick having come on as a sub expressly for that purpose.

Jesus will have a tough tie against Downing in their semi, a fixture that could also decide the destination of the league title. Pembroke’s brave cup run comes to a sad end having performed superbly against some of the best teams in the league.

Jesus went ahead through captain Purcell’s smart volley but found themselves pegged back by a 25-yard stunner. Another threat which Jesus where failing to deal with was the long throw long throw-in, something they really paid for in the second half when a header from 6 yards out looped over Maini in goal.

The Jesus equaliser cam late on when O’Loughlin converted from close range after Purcell drilled in a cross from the right. Extra time proved uneventful due to fatigue that set in for both sides and with a chilling inevitability it al came down to penalties.

Pembroke scored only one of their first four pens, and with Crawford and Purcell on target for Jesus they only needed Maier to step up and finish the tie. Maini’s two saves were absolutely crucial, and Jesus can continue to dream of Cuppers glory.

 

Late Fitton strike means Caius are Gone-ville

by Rob Dunn

Whilst Sunday offered up a beautiful, calm morning for the people of Cambridge, the Cuppers Quarter Final between Downing and Caius was anything but. Downing emerged victorious, 2-1 winners in a real thriller, but it took extra time for them to secure their place in the semis.

From the off it was a physical affair. Caius edged the first half in terms of possession, with Marsden, Scott and Yerolemou looking particularly threatening. Despite this, it was Downing who came closest to scoring. Long balls from Dunn and long-throws from Churcher allowed Guest and Burley to cause Caius some trouble in the box, the best chance falling to Davison who volleyed inches wide

The second half began with the same intensity as the first. The deadlock was broken when Scott was felled in the box, and despite protests from the Downing players, the referee pointed to the spot. Although Matthews got a hand to Yerolemou’s penalty he couldn’t keep it out. 1-0 Caius.

With a Cuppers exit looming, Downing picked up the pace, playing more aggressively and attackingly. Caius stood strong though, right until the dying moments. Deep into injury time, a long and hopeful ball up front fell to Burley, who took it past the defence to finish clinically past Feng.

Into extra time with tough challenges coming in thick and fast. Yet again, deep into the injury time, Downing’s belief was rewarded when a Ross long-throw again caused trouble in the Caius box, and substitute Fitton  headed home from close range. Jesus await Downing in a tasty semi-final, whilst Caius need to focus on trying to stay in Division 1. Selwyn’s victory over Christ’s means they’re second from bottom with three games to play.

 

Next weekend’s Semi-Finals look like this:

Girton v Fitz

Downing v Jesus

 

  • Coverage Gap

    But what about the shock defeat of div 1 Jesus by div 3 Caius in the rugby?

    • Fitz…

      Have made the Cuppers Final in the last two years, and current reigning champions!!! Yeeeaaahhhhh buddy!

  • Working Class Lad

    I don’t want to see you bourgeois scum playing our game, stop it, get back to cricket and rugby

    • Wow..

      Football has always been more of a middle-class sport than rugby…
      Football Association rules developed on Parkers Piece as “Cambridge Rules”.
      It was played at the country’s top public schools long before rugby.

    • Really??!

      Rugby is more of a working class sport than football you douche!!

      • You smokin’ something?

        Football may have been established by public school students, as was rugby when some arrogant pleb decided picking up the ball was a good idea, but it’s rapidly growing popularity in the late 19th Century (Sheffield FC etc) was built entirely around working class towns and teams.

        Rugby could not be more middle class if it tried and it’s been that way since the early 20th Century you absolute bozo.

        …and it’s a shit sport played by failed footballers.

  • Billy Fitton

    ‘s having a party….

  • Boutros-Boutros Ghali

    Caius beat Jesus at Rugby

  • Rich Ewers

    #cupperswinninggoalkeeper

  • Mr Buttons

    What a fucking weirdo…

  • Anon

    Have sex with me I’ll guarantee you’ll orgasm ;)

    • lad

      Top lad

  • Anon

    I have exactly the same problem – suddenly everything just feels painful and awful and I have to physically pull myself away from anything – kinda ruins everything else after that.

    • EALT

      That sounds like you have a mini orgasm, one that is very weak so you’re not getting the good climax feeling, only the overly-sensitive after bit. Try a different method to figure out how to achieve a more powerful orgasm and I’m sure it will get better!

  • Anon

    Tragic, I’m sure. BUT.

    I Don’t see how this relates to “us” prioritising male orgasms (historically maybe, not now?)… In many ways, I think far, far more attention goes into working out the female orgasm than the male.

    I think we actually approach it as the most important thing. We root the whole male ego upon being good in bed! Even in films like American Pie.

    I think perhaps it has more to with a stance that goes ‘we know women orgasm now. We’ve found it all out. Now it must be happening’, and so when it isn’t, there’s a worry.

    We’re SO worked up about it, the pressures become silly.

    I know, its more popular to think I can’t orgasm. The world tells me women do have orgasms. This is my birthright! Therefore, this is bad. So it must be repression. By men. So how can I spin it as part of my historical repression? and that logic is about as bad as men suggesting that their orgasm being less intense and shorter than the average female orgasm is part of some ludicrous sexist plot against their gender.

    Surely, if it was actually because of a sexist viewpoint about the female orgasm, it would be because no-one cared to give you one or entertain the possibility it exists. But as your therapy and toys prove, it isn’t.

    Not everything is repression, not every female issue some weird prioritisation of men over them.

    • Tom

      THANK YOU for finally saying this. All the hashtag feminists and their male asslickers should take a good read.

  • Tom

    “Because male orgasms are essential to reproduction we prioritise it over female orgasm. And this shouldn’t be the case.”

    You’ve just countered your own claim you stupid cow

    • N. Klein

      Because all sex is for reproduction? You condescending, vile human being. In my mind you are either a slightly greasy virgin or a Dapper Laughing Lad; I like neither.

      • Tom

        I didn’t say that all sex is for reproduction, I just pointed out that the need for male orgasm in reproduction is the reason behind the prioritisation of the male orgasm. If you spent as much time reading and taking in information as you did making knee-jerk reactions and whining on social media, you wouldn’t make yourself look like a twat so often.

      • Tom

        Although that being said I would disagree that there is more attention given to the male orgasm. There doesn’t need to be any attention given to it because it’s kind of an automatic thing. Whereas there is a lot of attention given to how to make women orgasm, a lot of which is actually produced by guys.

        • Harry Yorke

          Your comments are ample justification for why this article is so poignant, and important. Anyone who can’t acknowledge, generally speaking, that sex does not revolve around pleasing men, are simply short sighted. That doesn’t mean that many men don’t consider a woman’s sexual needs, but if you’re telling me that sex appropriation isn’t male dominated, perhaps you’re a hopeless case (go watch some porn, and tell me what message it reinforces). And most importantly, the article opens up a discussion that is normally only dominated by men, for women it is often seen as a no-go area. A very brave piece, and shouldn’t be shouted down on small areas of disagreement.

          • Tom

            I AM NOT FUCKING SAYING THAT SEX SHOULD REVOLVE AROUND PLEASING MEN, I AM JUST GIVING THE REASON WHY IT DOES

            If you’re going to make an argument it helps to actually read what you’re responding to, you’re jumping to false conclusions based on your own false preconceptions, if you weren’t so close-minded you wouldn’t make such drastic errors in judgement as you just have.

            Also if you consider a completely valid, logical response (albeit it in a condescending tone) as “shouting down”, you’re a lost cause

            • Harry Yorke

              No, no you’re really not. You’re not a social scientist, and neither is the writer. She is expressing a viewpoint which many women find difficulty in voicing. Regardless of whether you have a different opinion or not, you’ve underlined your nasty agenda the moment you branded her a ‘silly cow’. Judging by your previous comments to other people, you’re clearly a twat, and not worth arguing with. I’m sure you’re a massive hit with the ladies though.

              • Tom

                Look mate are you really that much of a bellend that you’re going to sit there and try to tell me what I meant? I understand her viewpoint but it’s also important to recognise and accept the reasons WHY there is “more importance” placed on the male orgasm (which I completely disagree with as the male orgasm is an automatic thing, it’s down to biology which nobody has control over)

                Oh, I said something nasty… I don’t give a fuck. Attacking the tone of someone’s argument is completely invalid so half of what you just wrote is completely useless trash. Also it’s funny that you instantly resort to a patriarchal slur, you’re a walking contradiction pal, come back when you aren’t so confused

                • Harry Yorke

                  wake up and smell the satire stupid.

                  • Tom

                    I’m not sure how your comment was satire in any way, either you’re shit at producing satire, or you really believe the complete bollocks you posted and are trying to cover your tracks

          • anon

            the vast majority of porn depicts unrealistic levels of female pleasure and men are entirely a tool for that pleasure. idiot.

            • Harry Yorke

              wow- you genuinely think that those women on your computer screen are enjoying themselves ha? I’m sure all that exploitation, being degraded, gang banged by groups of dominant and sexually-aggressive men really paints a picture of female pleasure and equality! I’m not delusional- everyone watches porn- but that doesn’t mean its not exploitative or wrong. And Tom satire is when you ridicule someone, I was simply drawing on your need to shout down any feministic perspective by using socratic irony. hope that helps.

    • Anon

      Don’t you think it’s sad that you go out of your way to sit behind your keyboard and bash a woman for sharing her views on the Internet? Someone says something you disagree with and instead of putting forward a valid argument why you think they’re wrong you have to call them a silly cow instead… Just take a second and have some empathy. It IS still awkward and uncomfortable for women to talk about orgasms, and she is trying to break down that boundary. You’d have to be pretty brave to write something like this and admit something like this, purely for the fact that people like you won’t have any understanding towards it, and will just be r raki ude and misogynistic. I hope the way you behave doesn’t extend into real life, but the world is often a sad place like that.

      • Tom

        You’re completely hypocritical, attacking someone’s tone is a completely invalid argument, at least I was making a valid point underneath my condescending tone, everything you’ve just written is useless trash

  • Anon

    I’m a dude, and I have exactly the same problem – I never feel completely relaxing during sex, and I get to a certain point and go no further. It’s such a bad feeling, especially when you keep going and the girl is there waiting for something to happen and it never does. It’s gotten to the point where the girls I’ve been in relationships with have moved on because of this, and I’m too scared to initiate anything with anyone else because of my problem – especially how it all works in clubs now as a student. I actually just leave if a girl even tries to dance with me. Life fuckin sucks man.

    • The doc

      Hey lil bro, relax there. Everything has a solution. First of all you need to stop just banging like a madman. Look at sex from a different perspective and care more about the foreplay than the climax. You should try to have fun with your girl before going into the penetration phase. >Play with her while you play with yourself and get to a point where you already feel you’re close to orgasming before you actually put in and only then go ahead and have proper intercourse. if you time it right you can even cum with her at the same time. By the way you talk it seems she wasn’t cumming either so you may have extra benefits by doing what i say. Best of luck and don’t give up.

  • Azrew

    When you say “we prioritise it over female orgasm”, who is we? You, all women, or all people? If it’s the latter, isn’t that a huge generalisation? Surely you haven’t any evidence for such a sexist remark.

  • Open minded

    Have you tried anal?

    • Manu

      Well that sounds silly but then it may not be wholly a bad advice. Many girls nowadays are into anal orgasms. Probably she just needs to explore more ways to get there. Who knows what she’s doing, maybe she’s just banging herself with a dildo and she’s a clitoral girl, maybe she’s just using a clit vibrator and she’s more prone to orgasm via penetration, or maybe she would orgasm with anal, maybe smoking some pot would help her too. Would have to be with her and try it out to give a better assessed opinion ;)

  • Steve

    I’m a guy and I’ve had it! don’t forget to represent everyone!
    It’s a shame you’re getting so much hate here after being so honest though, chill out guys!

  • guy

    I’m a guy and many times I’ve had erection problems when having sex due to anxiety, it’s not wholly a female issue. And we guys really try our best to make women orgasm, at least the vast majority. When will the resented feminazis stop stereotyping us men with the few psychopaths that they seem to take as the norm?

  • Alan Fortune

    These are particularly effective for Anxiety as well as Anorgasmia. I’d certainly give them a try –

    http://www.healthmonthly.co.uk/source_naturals_gaba_calm_sublingual_tablets

    Alan

  • http://scallywagandvagabond.com/ scallywag

    One wonders to what degree Megan and women like her are preempted from achieving orgasm because of the bias of society which over time has ingrained in them that having ‘sex is dirty’ and something only women of lesser quality women pursue. An attitude rarely shared amongst men….

    http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2014/11/anorgasmia-megan-ward-cant-ever-orgasm/

  • Alice

    Every time I read something like this I feel slightly less alone about my condition. Thanks, and keep working at it :D x

  • 24 year old

    Hi Megan, I had exactly the same problem as you with the ‘wall’ feeling until a few years ago. I think that general anxiety was definitely one of the main causes for me too. However with time, some breathing techniques (from a book called ‘The Elusive Orgasm’) and lots of solo practice I learnt to become more relaxed during sex and now I can have orgasms on my own and with my boyfriend (who I feel more comfortable with than my ex anyway). Someone else comments that you might be having a ‘mini-orgasm’. I wouldn’t rule this out – although it felt very different from what I experience now, when I used to be ‘getting close’ I would feel a very short sharp rush and it was then very painful to continue. When this happened, I would completely switch off mentally (from fear, habit or inexperience) and cut myself off from enjoying ‘the sundae’. Thanks for writing this brave article, I think it’s an issue we don’t talk about enough – I used to worry about it a lot and didn’t tell anyone (except my boyfriend at the time) which definitely didn’t help the situation! Good luck and you will get there in the end :)

  • Anonymous

    What aload of complete rubbish! She’s been sexually active for what 3 years, 4 years tops! I never had an orgasm until last year when I was 21, she’s 19 for christ sake not 90 and she’s already branding herself with a disorder just cause no one or herself has given her one as of yet doesn’t mean she is doomed for the rest of her life I can’t give myself one but my partner sure as hell can and is the only partner that has been able to so far.. Attention seeking bull!

  • Corey McDonald

    Hey, Kudos to you for writing this. I think we all need to be more honest and less embarrassed about our sex lives. We are taught by … someone… somewhere… that we all need to be perfect and identical when it comes to sex. This just isn’t the case. The spectrum is huge, and it’s not a personal downfall of any kind if your experience is different. It’s just how it is. Yeah, it sucks you can’t have an orgasm, but maybe focusing on what you don’t have isn’t going to make you very happy. It’s like a colorblind person who’s pissed that he can’t see certain colors. Personally, I take forever to finish. It’s just always been that way, and it’s even gotten a little worse with age. In a way, it’s similar to your experience in that I used to get very frustrated and self conscious about it. I’ve learned that I was focusing on the wrong part of the experience. Now, I just focus on how it feels during, and it feels great. I’m honest about this problem with my partners, and it leads to longer sessions which women like anyway. In my case, I can eventually finish. So, I’m not in your situation, and I’m sorry about that. But, honestly, it’s probably overblown in your mind. It does feel great, but it’s not that much greater than the experience during, and it’s a helluva lot shorter. So Kudos to you for learning to accept yourself :)

  • Anon

    I suffer with the an almost identical problem, except I’m a man. The only thing that I can complain about is that sometimes it bothers the girl, because they think I’m not really enjoying it or must have a different sexual orientation (neither of which are the case). I’m happy with my sex life because sometimes the pleasure of giving beats the pleasure of receiving. To anyone having the same problem, all I’d say would be to stay optimistic and to wear protection when attempting to get an invite (Anorgasmia can be cured unlike herpes or ‘the dreaded lurgy’)

  • Try this…

    ^What he said.
    I had this problem, had several really patient boyfriends who tried their best for 6 years but I thought it would really never happen. Then one day I was pretty stoned, I tried it on my own. Because you’re totally relaxed, any off putting thoughts don’t even enter your head. It then took some time, and the first couple of times I tried again with a guy I just had a few tiny tokes, but now I can do it completely without. Once you know it can happen, you stop worrying that it won’t.
    Also I’m pretty certain that 1/15 isn’t even true, I know of a few other people in the same situation, but I’ve found it’s something girls just feel they can’t admit to.

  • Towelie

    Jesus christ, now orgasms favor men. When will you keyboard feminists run out of things to complain about?

  • Tom

    Feminists are blaming men for being biologically different. You can’t make this shit up. Feminism has reached a new all time low.

  • :)

    I like the bit where she implied that men aren’t affected by this despite the fact they are. I imagine it’s not ac common in men, but the fact remains some men are still affected.

  • Towelie

    Thanks for that little trip down memory lane

  • Liv

    Feminists are blaming society, both men and women. Think you missed the point, sailor.

  • Guest

    You’ve completely missed the point again SMH

    Firstly, you are the first feminist I have ever seen who uses society to refer to men and women rather than the patriarchy/men

    Secondly, even if youi were blaming society it’s still fucking stupid because you’re blaming people for biology

    Just be quiet poppet you don’t have a clue what you’re on about

  • Tom

    Oh, you’re blaming men and women for being biologically different, because that makes so much more sense doesn’t it? Not only are you lying, you’re also fucking retarded, just stay out of this poppet

  • Harry Yorke

    Most people got it tommy, just not you.. and defeated? It’s a matter of opinion mate, like I said you’re not sprouting fact. You’re like some cockroach that won’t lie down even after it’s been bug bombed- crawl back into your lair and shout down some more liberal-minded people somewhere else, winding you up is getting boring.

  • Tom

    LOL you’re deluded mate, you were upvoted by a load of feminists who agreed with the arguments you made

    If it’s getting boring fuck off, nobody asked you to comment here, you tried to be funny of your own accord and got humiliated

  • Harry Yorke

    I run this site, so I think you’ll find it is. And I’ve also been checking over your user history… funny how you’ve only commented on articles relating to feminist thought or to do with female equality. You’re a full blown sexist pig mate, hiding behind his computer screen. I pity you and your sad little existence.

  • Tom

    wake up and smell the satire stupid.