Willi Really? Prince William To Become a Cambridge Student

Will Heilpern

The Duke of Cambridge is set to become a full time student of Cambridge University in time for the start of Lent Term.

From the start of January, the lovable Prince Wills will study his own tailor-made course in Agricultural Management in Cambridge University’s School of Technology.

The Prince Graduated from St Andrews

Our Prince Farming started as a student in 2001 at St Andrews

The 31 year old married father of one will be temporarily abandoning domestic bliss to live somewhere in the centre of Cambridge for the duration of the course, which lasts 10 weeks.

A Kensington Palace spokesman said, “The course has been designed to help provide the Duke with an understanding of contemporary issues affecting agricultural business and rural communities in the United Kingdom.”

The ‘bespoke’ course has been designed to ready the Prince for his future role in charge of the Duchy of Cornwall, which he will inherit when his father Chaz becomes King.

The Prince is not getting an easy ride and will have 18 to 20 hours of lectures, seminars and meetings a week. He’s also going to be writing long and probably boring essays, like the rest of us.

The Prince will have to study hard

The Prince will have to study this hard

The Tab must point out that normally students need A*AA at A-level to gain entry to Cambridge University, whilst the Prince only achieved a mediocre ABC. Conveniently though for Will, his father is the registered benefactor of the department he will be studying at.

Unfortunately for Our Duke, he is ineligible for a student loan, as he has already completed a degree at St Andrews. The course, which will cost over £10,000, will be funded privately.

The Duke of Cambridge will matriculate and be given a university card, which will allow him to access the University libraries, bars and other facilities.

Prince William will be classified as a mature student

Prince William will be classified as a mature student

Clare, a 4th year MML student and self confessed ‘Pitt-Stick’, told The Tab

‘Oh my God, this is the most exciting news ever. I don’t care about Kate and her whiny, little baby. I will seduce that man and become the most hated adultress since Camilla!

Rumours that the Prince will be attending the first Wednesday Cindies of term are currently unconfirmed.

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The Tab will be running a #WheresWills liveblog for the duration of term. The funniest photos of the Prince will receive a free Tab t-shirt.

  • Tom

    I assume he’ll be at Trinity?

    • Daily Mail

      says that he will not be affiliated with a college. and if the daily mail says it….

      • avid Daily Mail reader

        I just read the Daily Mail article, and can’t see where it says he won’t be affiliated with a college.

  • Bets go on for

    Trinity College

    • .

      Or john’s

      • Well..

        Seeing as though Jesus let Prince Edward in with a C and 2Ds, my bets go on them.

        • .

          seriously?blimey i did not know that

        • what’s not to love about

          double Ds

      • Kensington Palace Press Officer

        His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales refuses to comment further than admitting he would “rather go to Oxford than St John’s.”

  • Prince I’d Like to Fuck

    Tab should get him on Fit College

  • http://www.transitioncambridge.org/permaculture Dave Jackson

    Just as long as the national press keep their coverage to a respectful level.

  • ali g

    i rote dis rap cuz i
    am a fap… busta busta busta
    rhymes y’all, for ‘ma crimes y’all

    Westside

    • check urself

      b4 u reck urself

  • Soo..

    basically yet another rich kid doing land ec?

    • Brixton Land Ec

      Fuck off, he’s going to the School of Technology.

      The Land Ec department is noticeably trying to raise the bar by turfing lecturers and supervisors who don’t have PhDs or those who haven’t churned out research in years. It would be illogical to admit such a high profile mediocre student who would bring ‘Daily Mail’-esque fame to the fac at the cost of propagating the outdated rich white male stereotype.

  • Harry

    See you in Cindies Willy

    • I hope

      Cindie doesn’t have a willy

      • Mamie Juirhead

        no she doesn,t i chequed lol bntar ##cmoooooooooooooonnnn”!!

  • Access

    Ha ha ra ra

    • Just goes to show

      If you were born into the right family or have a shitload of money, entrance requirements don’t matter.

      • Chris

        Entrance requirements are irrelevant, this is a 10 WEEK course.

        But if you do want to address entrance requirements, start by dealing with the fact that his A level grades were done before the introduction of A* grades, so the Tab is misleadingly reporting his grades in a typically socialist shit-stirring manner. He also has a degree from St Andrews – there are plenty of post-graduate students with degrees from other universities studying at Cambridge and THEY do not have the same scrutiny over their A level grades.

        Additionally, experience in the military counts (with anyone, not just princes).

        In short this is justified on merit and the haters should try looking at the facts rather than applying a higher standard for William than all the other non-Cambridge undergraduates currently doing post-graduate study here.

        • access officer

          It’s going to be a nightmare for people who are bothered about access though – the media have reported it in a way that p***es all over the work that colleges and *cough* CUSU do

  • Gam Suthrie

    I study everything hard

  • Cambridge Prospectus

    Admissions are based solely on academic ability, and not on “who you know” or your social background.

    • Well……..

      isn’t that just a lot of shite.

  • hmmm

    So did he get an interviewed and tested too? Also, I thought you were only allowed to matriculate in Mich term? I guess if you have money to privately fund your own course it doesn’t matter! I’ll pawn my castle next year to fund a degree in ‘how to read’ and it’ll all be fine :-) Way to go royalty! You make being smart redundant!

    • ugh

      You’re so ignorant. HE IS DOING A TEN WEEK COURSE. It’s not a degree. Also these bespoke courses offer admittance with little/no entrance requirements, it’s not like exceptions are being made for him. Also he is doing it to specifically prepare him for the role that he is going to be given. It’s not like he’ll be pissing about.

  • Agricultural Management

    Sounds like LandEc to me

    • Hmmm…

      It is like Land Ec but for the dumber and richer ….

      At least it isn’t Harry

  • Greg Hill

    No free rides at my gym: £42 for the year please William.

  • Joseph Spencer

    Aaaah excellent news. Jolly good. I can’t wait to have a few jägermeister and red bulls with Wills at Kuda.

    • Anonymous

      You mean Life, right?

  • Anonymous

    Nepotism in action

  • CURUFC

    Can we shag his missus as well?

    • Sports Fan

      Maybe focus on getting a bit better at Rugby first

      • Frank Sanders

        I’m a nice guy, but we really needed someone who could actually scrummage.

  • Macky J

    Willy, is the Duchess no longer polishing your Crown Jewels as often as you’d like? For a measly £999.99, my intensive course will get you boob action, two handies = one sex and much, much more.

  • I seriously

    pity Wills. Suffering this amount of attention must be horrific.

  • Will Thong

    Cambridge may be good Wills, but would you like to go to America?

    • Michael Dunn

      This is getting lame. You lost – get over it.

      • Eylon Aslan-Levy

        I haven’t gotten over it yet!!!

        Please don’t forget me, have we met before, I’m running in this and that election, and now I’ve told you that, let me spout my political opinion about everything as well

      • Will Thong Damage Control Team

        Trust me, we’re not commenting on Tab articles. Damage Control 101: don’t cover your controversy with bigger controversy.

  • Kevin

    A correction…according to BBC he only got ABC 13 years ago.

    • :)

      Why would anyone respect the royals?
      I got better grades than him while going to a much lower standard state school and am studying a challenging, useful course (Mechanical engineering). The state doesn’t pay for my education despite this.
      Why is one family valued more than all the others in a socialist democracy?

      • Here’s a hint

        (Britain isn’t a socialist democracy)

      • :(

        wipe that smile off your comment and get off your fucking high horse. not everyone has the same skills. so what if he didn’t perform as well academically as you? he isn’t doing a degree so he isn’t taking a place from someone who deserves it more. also get your facts straight. he is doing a course that will specifically prepare him for his job as king and he is funding the course privately.

  • fred vghui

    I’m afraid you’ve got your facts wrong.

    He got ABC, not AAC, despite attending Eton, where the average grades back in 2000 were AAA.

  • Churchill College

    we’ll take him

    • Hurry Bedwards

      No, we Will.

  • Anonymous

    So basically, the next future King of England (conveniently forgetting Charles because he is less exciting), who is/will be among the most influential and powerful men in Britain/the world, is getting some very good additional further education. This is a GOOD THING, no?!

    • State school educated

      If you can call a 10 week Land EC course ‘very good additional further education’ then yes I suppose he is.

    • Anonymous

      Being a figurehead hardly needs beyond basic school education.

  • So Clarke

    Prince William should hit up #FitzBall2k14, mad royal mandems will be repping. Prepare for a #DENCHball #siolosforfood #blukubluku

  • Tax man

    Actually the £10,000 will be funded with the public purse.

    • no

      it won’t

  • Typical common scum

    Perpetuatin’ tha’ image o’ Cam’ bein’ fu” o’ posh wanners, aye lad eh

  • Calamara

    1). Cambridge University take numerous students without standard qualifications when they deem them intelligent enough to complete the course.
    2). When I was there (1999-2003) Land Economy was looked upon, unfairly I am sure, as an easy way in for posh but not very bright students, so the fuss seems unremarkable.
    3). When Prince William took his A Levels many Cambridge courses only required AAB. Results changed dramatically after the modular AS system was introduced and grade requirements increased to reflect this. A*s did not exist. So, while he didn’t get the results required then, he was closer than current undergraduates may realise. Other top universities awarded places for ABB and ABC and even unconditional offers.
    4). Since he left school 13 years ago, Prince William has studied for and gained a 2:1 at a top university and pursued a very successful career in the armed forces, during which time he has become an accomplished helicopter pilot. Anyone who thinks that doesn’t require intelligence should try to get the certificate before passing comment.
    5). I am really disappointed that Cambridge students appear to be so narrow minded and snobbish these days. The reactionary attitude of those quoted does not strike one as intelligent and thoughtful. They should be more humble about the opportunities that they have been lucky enough to receive. I say lucky, because we all know that, even with great interview technique and superb results, that there were plenty of other students bright enough for the place each of us were given.

    • You’re so sexy

      when you speak – can we shag…

  • Dr Q

    Come on, tab, this is a bit of a joke.

    You may need those grades to study at UG level, but as any fule no, the main barrier to graduate study is poshness, and its direct proxy, personal wealth.

    My old department regularly ended up short on Masters numbers because three quarters of the applicants couldn’t afford to take up any offers that might be made. And barely any Masters (certainly in social sciences, humanities, and arts) are funded.

  • km

    Some people get bored of memorising and repeating like a parrot for exams. That’s why mankind invented pen and paper a very long time ago.
    Some people like doing practical things. Then they put their heart into it and even mountains will crumble before them.
    His RAF Wings makes him more intelligent than most there.

    • Oh how I’ve missed

      the Skandar Keynes crazies.

  • Edmond McGill

    I don’t get it. Kings, queens, princes, princesses, Dukes, sir, this and lady that – how is there a complaint about privilege?

  • S. Secrest

    ” The Tab must point out that normally students need A*AA at A-level to gain entry to Cambridge University, whilst the Prince only achieved a mediocre ABC,” the writer Will Heilpern states. “Conveniently though for Will, he is the registered benefactor of the department he will be studying at.”

    So… A*AA at A-level students are trained to end a sentence with a preposition??

    • F-off

      Up with you we shall not put.

  • TR

    No, students do not normally “need A*AA at A-level to gain entry to Cambridge University”. That is the requirement for candidates for undergraduate courses whose education has only got as far as secondary school. The University has raised revenue from offering summer schools and training courses for a long time and there is nothing unusual about the Duke of Cambridge’s arrangement.

  • Bertie Aye

    Dear sir,

    As a former Cambridge undergrad from the 1960s, I am sad to see this article in the Tab. True Cambridge students (undergrads, I mean) wouldn’t demean themselves with such behaviour. However, many individuals with grades less than A*AA come to Cambridge to do “courses” which in some cases lead to a Master or Doctorate degree. That’s a totally different group! (note the comment by TR on 3rd January).

  • http://N/A Assoc Prof Bruce Jamieson

    What an arrogant bunch….but I am not surprised. He is a prince by inheritance of parental genes; the majority of students are so because most of the variance in their academic performance is due to the inheritance of parental genes rather than their own efforts. Not a hell of a lot of difference. And what of Oxbridge short-term courses for the business hoi polloi?

  • Snobbish Article

    What a snobbish article. Lots of universities offer executive courses that don’t require grades because said participants have already graduated and have the life experience that is beyond any A*AA could offer.

  • Orange

    oh no! St Andrews has struck back:

    http://www.albanyparker.co.uk/fuck-cambridge/

    Come on Cambridge – let’s give it to them!

  • Ramz

    I think u guyz u shuld evn b luck 2 interact wth the prince,its jst a 10 week progrm he is doing, are u jelouse of him,let go of him,re u the one payin 4 his lecturers